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    Do you think that "race" or religion can ruin a relationship

    Scheduled Pinned Locked Moved Sex & Relationships
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    • Y Offline
      yuck2014
      last edited by

      Yes it can. Race has never been an issue as my first boyfriend was from Trinidad and I am Nordic. We were happy with each other despite remarks from others. Religion is another matter. I am secular thinking but I have had relationship with a very devout Catholic and he regarded  what we were doing together was sinful. To me it was absurd considering we loved having sex together but it meant a great deal to him.

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      • B Offline
        brackjack
        last edited by

        I'd rather date within my race, but I highly doubt that I would ever date a religious/non-secular person.

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        • 22222 Offline
          2222 Moderator
          last edited by

          Yes, it could, if you believe in it. The most important thing is honestly and open mind from both sides. Yes, its easier to talk than to be done, but it worth.

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          • A Offline
            acupcake94
            last edited by

            The biggest and best relationships i had were with people of the same origin than me, i had a lot of trouble making it work with other guys.
            There's something about having more or less the same education and way of thinking that makes it easier.

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            • Z Offline
              zomboise
              last edited by

              it depends on you and the one you are in a relation with. for me, race is not a hitch (actually I like mix up everythink) but I can't stand with someone that refuse things like evolution in support of creation. for you, I don't know, you have to ask yourself if race and religion are so important, and your partner should do the same. if none of you care, good, if at least one of you care, it may be a problem, probably a big one

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              • C Offline
                charrotoro
                last edited by

                I don't think so, as doesn't age, Love has no barriers, seriously who put this?, My german partner loves me unconditionally, despite i am blind of one eye, i am mexican, he has no problems at all with that

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                • LEVIL Offline
                  LEVI
                  last edited by

                  Yes, it can if both people let it. No matter is both people are open and honest. If one or both have different views on religion it can drive a wedge in their relationship.

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                  • C Offline
                    charrotoro
                    last edited by

                    well religion yes can torn a relationship but race doesn't

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                    • M Offline
                      Matie
                      last edited by

                      depends on the religion/race. Being a Jew or Arab is a racial thing (although possibly with religious overtones) and that can be a big factor. Also culture is tied up with race. Cultures have very different attitudes towards all sorts of things.

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                      • K Offline
                        Karel78
                        last edited by

                        I think, first you are a person, later your religion. But the most important thing it's to be an open-mind

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                        • J Offline
                          jj1235
                          last edited by

                          Personally, I find that race won't ruin a relationship provided that both parties fulfil a mutually consensual and intimate relationship. I myself am in an interracial relationship. Some people argue that different people of different races have differing views/education/whatever excuse they can think of. I disagree. It's the 21st century people… Like, hello, people travel, migrate, live, adapt, learn. There's no such thing as monoculturalism these days, unless you don't like living with people who are supposedly "different" than you... Sorry rant over XD Haha but yea, not too sure about religion though.

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                          • M Offline
                            MikeChang
                            last edited by

                            As you are saying a Relationship, I'm guessing those obstacles would have already been discussed and crossed before you classed it as a relationship.  So for the 2 people in the relationship there shouldn't be any issues anymore unless one person decided to change their religion or go real hardcore.  However it's the outsiders, be they friends, family or just other people that can cause issues and destroy what you have.  There seems to be this thing with some gay men that makes them want to destroy a relationship just for fun and they will use anything, race, religion, looks, even down to hobbies or what you watch on TV to ruin what you have and split you up.

                            So it's down to being a strong couple and having the balls to tell the rest of the world to just Fuck Off and leave you alone.

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                            • H Offline
                              hhsq
                              last edited by

                              Is that my perception or people here seem to be a little obsessed with "race"?
                              If race is a problem for you in a relationship, then accept that: you are a fucking racist. Period.
                              As for religion, which is a COMPLETELY different thing (indeed, I don't know why you are always putting race and religion together, in the same discution… it doesn't make any sense!) it can be problematic depending on the belifs of different partners.
                              And to be very frank, one thing I will never understand is a gay christian... but that's ok... that last part is just my oppinion, and I can live with that.

                              http://hotgayfuzz.tumblr.com/

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                              • BummerBoyB Offline
                                BummerBoy
                                last edited by

                                Race can't but racism can (including unconscious racism and so-called subtle forms of racism)

                                If you see a post you like (mine or anyone else's) please show your appreciation and click the 'like' button (˄) below the post that gave you pleasure. It costs you nothing and it spurts a little bit of joy onto the poster's face

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                                • M Offline
                                  Matie
                                  last edited by

                                  So you're saying that the only factor in sexual race preferences is racism? Utter BS. You'll be saying that gay men are misogynists next.

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                                  • andergarciaA Offline
                                    andergarcia
                                    last edited by

                                    Nope. Politics, maybe, but race or religion wouldn't for me.

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                                    • N Offline
                                      nikolaos84
                                      last edited by

                                      I am secular thinking but recently I was dating a devout Christian. His religious beliefs were so strong that ruined any potential we had as he considered  what we were doing as sinful and unatural. Sometimes he even cried after sex.
                                      So yes religion, can cause a drift if someone is very fundamental about it and cannot reconcile his religious beliefs and his attraction to men.

                                      As far as race is concerned I don't see any problem, only if there are some racist tendencies in the family or social cycle of the couple. But it is up to the couple to reconcile any differences.

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                                      • E Offline
                                        eobox91103
                                        last edited by

                                        @Opiam:

                                        Do you think that "race" or religion can ruin a relationship?

                                        I think we need to focus the question a bit:  "Can difference in race or religion ruin a relationship?"  It can; it depends on the people involved.

                                        As for "race," different ethnicities have different levels of privilege in different societies.  If one person in the relationship is of a privileged race, and the other is in a discriminated-against race, it's possible that one or both parties won't understand the experience of the other–or not be perceived as understanding.  This can cause problems in a relationship.

                                        As for religion, most countries (but certainly not all) are tolerant of religious differences.  If the practice of a religion is very important to one party, and not to the other, things can work as long as there's mutual respect.

                                        All of this assumes that a relationship has been formed.  Some people will have a "going-in position" that they could not be in relationship with someone of a particular race or religious practice (or non-practice).  That would filter out problems very early on, although if attraction develops after a casual hookup, people may need to revisit their initial judgments.

                                        At the risk of going off-topic, it's not unlike a relationship between serodiscordant parties (one HIV+ and one HIV-).  Quite often, an HIV+ person will assume that the HIV- party can't fully understand what it's like to be HIV+, and that can become a problem.  This is becoming less of an issue as HIV treatment advances.  (If you want to address the HIV+/- situation, I suggest starting a new forum topic on that, leaving this thread to the race/religion question.)

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                                        • R Offline
                                          raju82
                                          last edited by

                                          I think religion can spoil the relationship especially a gay relationship. Because a few dominant religions have brainwashed the entire population that being gay is unnatural. So a lot of people are confused about their identity and cannot fully commit to it.

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                                          • R Offline
                                            redzebra02
                                            last edited by

                                            I don't really get this idea whereby religion/race can RUIN the relationship. If anything, they can be an obstacle to forming a relationship. Once you're in a relationship with someone of different race or religion, I fail to see how either of the two can suddenly become an issue. After all, you had previously noticed the color of your prospective partner's skin and had sufficiently engaged with them to have an idea of their religious, political and other views. If not, you were primarily guided by your dick and never were in a relationship in the first place. But in that case, why blame religion or race when your superficiality is actually the problem.

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