Should I "come out"?

mmattia93

I think that coming out is hard, but when you do it it's like not having a pain in the ass anymore!

Minerboh80

@mmattia93:

I think that coming out is hard, but when you do it it's like not having a pain in the ass anymore!

It si a perfect storm. But i agree that once is passed, the serenity is refreshing.

iyah123

Coming out to friends was easy, it's the family that's always the problem.

kagaminelen

I'm staring to

gadhafy

Yes of course you should come out. There's nothing more liberating in life than being yourself everywhere, all the time :cheers:

Masonmason

It depends on how you view sexuality yourself. Is being gay a large part of your life do you care about the community/are you apart of it do you care about the laws and such or does it majorly impact your life in some way (like having a LTR) on the other hand if being gay is simply your preference for getting off and there is little or no emotional burden it might be safer to avoid the risks in any major life decision running through at least a basic cost benefit calculation is always good as to the literature 1. read it yourself first before giving it to someone else. 2. if you can try to avoid letting your parents this I have found is especially true for mothers Google gay my son just came out etc. the media hell the community can be very intimidating and scary on this subject especially if the information is older (HIV statistics drug use statistics rape statistics etc) also if you do come out come out in a way that shows the reason your coming out. IE if you care about the community and or are active in a cause talk about that and show that if you want your family to accept a relationship choice go that route and if you yourself are burdened by keeping it a secrete use a whole lot of I statements and make it show that it is emotionally wearing on you. Also tailor it to your audience some dads don't give a fuck who you fuck but would be offended if you suddenly became a "nancy" Moms on the other hand have a tendency to respond better to emotional pleas and sharing personal information especially if you are or were recently a teenager who shut their mother out of everything coming out by sharing personal information will seem like a life line and bring up a subconscious connection with the knowledge your gay and the closeness of your relationship with your mom and or parents. If you are hiding large parts of your personality and it is a massive change tell that when you come out tell what parts you were hiding or trying to keep hidden but if your not going to change then say that as well. Just because I'm gay doesn't mean I can't mow the lawn or that I will quit the football team or stand up in church and invite everyone to a black mass.
As for friends well be prepared to make sure they know you are not attracted to them unless there is a possibility of something happening. it just brings up issues.

tinting

if you want to come out, you should first study what kind of parents you have, and sometimes talk to your parents as well as your family open a topic regarding gay see or look about their reaction, if its ok to them do not just say to them that you are gay, first talk to your mom, just ask her if one of your son 'gay' what are going to do? if its ok to them its the time to revile or open up them.
but if they are against about gay, wait for the right time, that you can support your own.

musclejizz 0

@iyah123:

Coming out to friends was easy, it's the family that's always the problem.

Agreed. I came out to my close friends one by one (the ones i trusted the most). It certainly gets easier with each person I tell, but when it comes to my family…....I'm not sure if I'll ever let them find out.....maybe on my wedding day. That'll be a big surprise :cheers:

notquiteme

I actually tested the waters on numerous occasions:

When my parents talk about anyone who's gay, they usually refer to them as "the gay" like - do you remember our principal, the gay? - sign that for them, it is a unique identifier
When one of my closest friends came out, (his name is norman) and my parents know him, they started making quips like "oh i thought he was norman, turns out he's norma instead" and "omg are you sure he's not attracted to you?"
I was once video-chatting with one of my friends when this quirky guy starts singing in a falsetto - my dad heard it. over lunch, he pretty much screamed at me saying: "DO YOU WANT TO TURN OUT LIKE HIM? YOU WILL TURN OUT LIKE HIM!!!"

I guess for me it might not ever be the right time. Both my parents have heart problems and if they were to have a heart attack if I came out, my siblings would most likely blame me forever.

But yes, coming out to my friends wasn't precisely easy, but it opened up my world just a tiny bit more - being able to be open to them. They pretty much opened their arms to my partner, as well.

HugeDickCum

You should come out when you feel you are ready to do this. If you can accept your own sexuality then you should come out.

I came out when I was 23 and financially not independent. I live in a very homophobic society and my parents were same. But I was confident I can do it. After 2 years now they are okay with it. Now I feel I am free like a bird.

horyna

Generally I suggest to come out and be out and proud. Not all the time but in gerneral so you don't have to live a life in secrecy.

Of course there are cases where I would not suggest it: russian passport f.e.

And trust your own heart and feelings.

Minerboh80

@horyna:

Generally I suggest to come out and be out and proud. Not all the time but in gerneral so you don't have to live a life in secrecy.

Of course there are cases where I would not suggest it: russian passport f.e.

And trust your own heart and feelings.

:bravo:

milaeternal

I haven't come out yet. But I've been thinking a lot about that lately (by "lately" i mean the last two years).
Some events in my life are almost pushing me to do, because it's more pressure from my inner conflicts than i've ever experienced before. A part of me wants to avoid to take any decision. The other one urges to take an attitude.

gradguy23

I absolutely recommend coming out.

ajnessaholic

You know.. sometimes Coming Out is such a big decision.. But believe this: people who loves you for who you are won't be affected by how you label yourself: A pride out-gay man or just generally awesome :cheesy2:

milaeternal

I want to share something with you:
After a long time thinking, I came out to my mother. And she was comprehensive beyond expectations.
Then she asked me if I was interested in someone and if that was the reason I revealed it to her. I told I've never been with any guy in my life. As with any women, actually. But that's because I always had a very poor social life, and no luck in develop relationships.
I only hope this can change. The sooner the better.

Alystar

I came out when I was 12 years old. Being raised in a Latin country that's a BIG NO, NO there. Specially Puerto Rico. So I had to make that decision. Most may not agree, but it has been the best decision I have ever made.