Straight Boyfriend

pornofan

Thanks for the kind word. I'm sure we all hope things work out well, whatever happens, and that you WILL keep us updated.
How old is the daughter?
If he gets veto power over your dates, do you get veto power over his?
Are you each allowed to bring home a partner and have sex with them? The daughter is cool with that?
He gave permission for you to photograph him naked and having sex?
Do you find him attractive, sexually desirable? If not, and he feels the same about you, then there is less problem or issue
than if either of you fancies the other.
You might actually and directly ask how he would feel if you told him you lust after him or really would like to have sex
with him. Perhaps (yeah, right) he'd be happy to have you provide benefits to accommodate those times when he is doing
without a partner to penetrate. Perhaps you could deal with the whole thing VERY directly by saying, for instance,

"Yeah, not only do I like you and value our friendship, I think you are hot and sexy and desirable and I think that might be a distraction,
if only because I'd be afraid it will distract you even if I become seriously coupled and have set such thoughts/interests aside. Amd
while I'm glad you don't mind that I have watched, don't think I'd be comfortable having you watch me or listen to our moans and
groans. Anyway, why don't we set aside some time and just, you know, DO it and get it out of the way. If we love it, great. If it
is uncomfortable, so it is. And it can even be FABulous but, with the curiosity removed, only a one-time thing. Which means it is
safe for us to get drunk together without worrying about stepping over a line."

Having spent too many years being repressed, I'm well aware that in the US, society is thoroughly sexually repressive, even though
it becomes more and more blatant about what is still Officially forbidden. Why, we have an entire mainstream religion that seems to
think the entire reason their Savior showed up was so that we could righteously stone fags and murder "baby killers" because to love
the one true god you must be completely judgmental, fight for public prayer, and ignore commandments 1-10. Some people would
think the message of their faith is to love their god completely and serve him in the form of serving and comforting (feeding, clothing,
etc.) others.

But we now know compassion and empathy are sins promulgated by the Father of Lies, and the real purpose of religion is to help you
hate all the same sinners that god hates. "Vengeance is mine," saith the Kristian. (with a K= the way Krab indicates fake crab). And
it's bad enough to have a friend who is not opposed to "the disgusting and abominable crime against nature," but what if one of Those
perverts moves in with you and starts to corrupt your daughter? Huh? What about that?

Can even the most unsexual friendship survive such intolerance and prejudice? Maybe elsewhere, but what about in the Land of the
Free, blahblahblah?

ben351500

Sorry, but I have to disagree with what is being posted here. Time for a reality check. If one of my friends was in this situation, this is what I'd tell him:

Your friend sounds to me like a user: he wants his cake and to eat it too. It sounds to me like he wants a wife, but without the strings that come with marriage, but all the benefits. And for him to have YOU as his wife is safe and allows him to date/fuck around: he's not gonna have sex with you, so he doesn't need to worry about that side of things. AND he gets someone to help him raise his kid. Have you become the full-time babysitter yet? It's coming. And he gets to approve of whomever you date - do you get a similar privilege? Sounds controlling to me. And the fact that he thinks it's fun that you have the nude and sex pics only tells me that he likes to be the center of attention.

Look, he may not be doing this intentionally or maliciously, but on some level he knows he's got you in his pocket, so to speak. But YOU know, deep down; otherwise you wouldn't have started this thread. YOU know that this relationship isn't healthy. YOU know he's using your crush on him for his own advantage. YOU know these things.

Look, I don't mean to harsh on you; we've all gotten involved in unhealthy relationships. But honestly, a good relationship is one between partners. Does this sound like a partnership? From what you've written, it doesn't to me. Plus, if you really, truly, deeply, love him, can you handle him seeing/fucking/loving others, orientation aside? Jealously will come, my friend, and the green monster doesn't go away, it only grows. If this were a straight relationship, I would say this is borderline emotionally abusive. Actually, the genders and orientations involved are unimportant: this IS a borderline emotionally abusive relationship.

So this is what I would tell my friend: Think of yourself and your own well being first. Sometimes a little bit of measured, reasonable, self centeredness (sp?) can be a good thing. Leave this situation before you get in deeper. This will not end well.

I'm sorry, but this situation needed some straight, blunt talk.

Good luck. Stay strong.

Batstar 0

@ben351500:

Sorry, but I have to disagree with what is being posted here. Time for a reality check. If one of my friends was in this situation, this is what I'd tell him:

Your friend sounds to me like a user: he wants his cake and to eat it too. It sounds to me like he wants a wife, but without the strings that come with marriage, but all the benefits. And for him to have YOU as his wife is safe and allows him to date/fuck around: he's not gonna have sex with you, so he doesn't need to worry about that side of things. AND he gets someone to help him raise his kid. Have you become the full-time babysitter yet? It's coming. And he gets to approve of whomever you date - do you get a similar privilege? Sounds controlling to me. And the fact that he thinks it's fun that you have the nude and sex pics only tells me that he likes to be the center of attention.

Look, he may not be doing this intentionally or maliciously, but on some level he knows he's got you in his pocket, so to speak. But YOU know, deep down; otherwise you wouldn't have started this thread. YOU know that this relationship isn't healthy. YOU know he's using your crush on him for his own advantage. YOU know these things.

Look, I don't mean to harsh on you; we've all gotten involved in unhealthy relationships. But honestly, a good relationship is one between partners. Does this sound like a partnership? From what you've written, it doesn't to me. Plus, if you really, truly, deeply, love him, can you handle him seeing/fucking/loving others, orientation aside? Jealously will come, my friend, and the green monster doesn't go away, it only grows. If this were a straight relationship, I would say this is borderline emotionally abusive. Actually, the genders and orientations involved are unimportant: this IS a borderline emotionally abusive relationship.

So this is what I would tell my friend: Think of yourself and your own well being first. Sometimes a little bit of measured, reasonable, self centeredness (sp?) can be a good thing. Leave this situation before you get in deeper. This will not end well.

I'm sorry, but this situation needed some straight, blunt talk.

Good luck. Stay strong.

THIS! This sounds exactly like what he is doing to me. When I was growing up… I had a very interesting experience with a friend. I was probably 17 at the time... he had slept over. I woke up to him at the foot of my bed under the covers... rubbing himself against my feet. Turns out he had a foot fetish... but regardless. I let him go for nearly an hour... surreptitiously encouraging him with my "Random" feet movements. After a while... I threw the cover off and looked at him and said... "What would you do right now... if I was pissed." Needless to say he had the whole deer in a headlight look. I forced a conversation and we talked it out. This wound up leading into me basically teaching him what he liked over several years. It was a totally one sided physical relationship but we became so much better friends because of it. (I never got anything physical from him at all). To this day he is still my best friend and we are actually looking into getting a place together, as the economy in my area simply makes it hard to afford a place alone. He's as straight as an arrow but seems to have little luck with the ladies, despite what I think of as him being good looking. Basically the moral to my story is this aspect of that relationship drew us closer together. He and I are open with one another about pretty much everything and even though the physical aspect of it is all done we are better friends because of it. Your "Friend" seems like he wants to use you. He was to control your life as much as he thinks he can get away with and yes likely use you as a live-at-home babysitter. Just my two cents on it... hopefully you figure it all out.

cumpigboy

@ben351500:

Sorry, but I have to disagree with what is being posted here. Time for a reality check. If one of my friends was in this situation, this is what I'd tell him:

Your friend sounds to me like a user: he wants his cake and to eat it too. It sounds to me like he wants a wife, but without the strings that come with marriage, but all the benefits. And for him to have YOU as his wife is safe and allows him to date/fuck around: he's not gonna have sex with you, so he doesn't need to worry about that side of things. AND he gets someone to help him raise his kid. Have you become the full-time babysitter yet? It's coming. And he gets to approve of whomever you date - do you get a similar privilege? Sounds controlling to me. And the fact that he thinks it's fun that you have the nude and sex pics only tells me that he likes to be the center of attention.

Look, he may not be doing this intentionally or maliciously, but on some level he knows he's got you in his pocket, so to speak. But YOU know, deep down; otherwise you wouldn't have started this thread. YOU know that this relationship isn't healthy. YOU know he's using your crush on him for his own advantage. YOU know these things.

Look, I don't mean to harsh on you; we've all gotten involved in unhealthy relationships. But honestly, a good relationship is one between partners. Does this sound like a partnership? From what you've written, it doesn't to me. Plus, if you really, truly, deeply, love him, can you handle him seeing/fucking/loving others, orientation aside? Jealously will come, my friend, and the green monster doesn't go away, it only grows. If this were a straight relationship, I would say this is borderline emotionally abusive. Actually, the genders and orientations involved are unimportant: this IS a borderline emotionally abusive relationship.

So this is what I would tell my friend: Think of yourself and your own well being first. Sometimes a little bit of measured, reasonable, self centeredness (sp?) can be a good thing. Leave this situation before you get in deeper. This will not end well.

I'm sorry, but this situation needed some straight, blunt talk.

Good luck. Stay strong.

While this all could be true, I have to say, only going by the facts we know so far, that saying "this will not end well" is making a leap. It's true they do need some straight, blunt talk, but I think it's too early to say the relationship is doomed. There is a lot more we don't know, such as whether rickydrexel has a say in the women his straight friend sees or how seriously/dangerously possessive the (boy)friend actually is. What if the boyfriend is really interested in rickydrexel and confused?

RickyDrexel : I've found a nice talk about how you are feeling and asking what you need to know usually is the best way to go before things get our of hand, much like what others have said. It doesn't sound, to me, like being open and honest would be upsetting for him or a bad thing since he knows about your orientation already and clearly wasn't to be involved in your life! I hope everything works out the best way and that you keep us updated. :hug:

cumpigboy

@cumpigboy:

@ben351500:

Sorry, but I have to disagree with what is being posted here. Time for a reality check. If one of my friends was in this situation, this is what I'd tell him:

Your friend sounds to me like a user: he wants his cake and to eat it too. It sounds to me like he wants a wife, but without the strings that come with marriage, but all the benefits. And for him to have YOU as his wife is safe and allows him to date/fuck around: he's not gonna have sex with you, so he doesn't need to worry about that side of things. AND he gets someone to help him raise his kid. Have you become the full-time babysitter yet? It's coming. And he gets to approve of whomever you date - do you get a similar privilege? Sounds controlling to me. And the fact that he thinks it's fun that you have the nude and sex pics only tells me that he likes to be the center of attention.

Look, he may not be doing this intentionally or maliciously, but on some level he knows he's got you in his pocket, so to speak. But YOU know, deep down; otherwise you wouldn't have started this thread. YOU know that this relationship isn't healthy. YOU know he's using your crush on him for his own advantage. YOU know these things.

Look, I don't mean to harsh on you; we've all gotten involved in unhealthy relationships. But honestly, a good relationship is one between partners. Does this sound like a partnership? From what you've written, it doesn't to me. Plus, if you really, truly, deeply, love him, can you handle him seeing/fucking/loving others, orientation aside? Jealously will come, my friend, and the green monster doesn't go away, it only grows. If this were a straight relationship, I would say this is borderline emotionally abusive. Actually, the genders and orientations involved are unimportant: this IS a borderline emotionally abusive relationship.

So this is what I would tell my friend: Think of yourself and your own well being first. Sometimes a little bit of measured, reasonable, self centeredness (sp?) can be a good thing. Leave this situation before you get in deeper. This will not end well.

I'm sorry, but this situation needed some straight, blunt talk.

Good luck. Stay strong.

While this all could be true, I have to say, only going by the facts we know so far, that saying "this will not end well" is making a leap. It's true they do need some straight, blunt talk, but I think it's too early to say the relationship is doomed. There is a lot more we don't know, such as whether rickydrexel has a say in the women his straight friend sees or how seriously/dangerously possessive the (boy)friend actually is. What if the boyfriend is really interested in rickydrexel and confused?

RickyDrexel : I've found a nice talk about how you are feeling and asking what you need to know usually is the best way to go before things get out of hand, much like what others have said. It doesn't sound like being open and honest would be upsetting for him or a bad thing, since he knows about your orientation already and clearly wants to be involved in your life! I hope everything works out the best way and that you keep us updated. :hug:

pittstop17

It is possible, but mind the money!

cumpigboy

Rickydrexel, do you have any updates?

latenight

i totally understand as i have a straight male friend who i am practicly dating however its never sexual. idk maybe you guys are just like surogate boyfriends like its totally legit to have a non sexual but super super close relationship with him. maybe just like tell him how you feel tho.

rickydrexel

@cumpigboy:

Rickydrexel, do you have any updates?
[/quote

Hey everyone, sorry it's been so long since my last update but soooooo much has gone on since the last time i posted. I took the advice and finally had the talk with him about how I was feeling, and his initial reply was " I always knew you liked me, you just always act tough when you get around people." Then he said "I tried talking to you about it so many times but we were both drunk and this is something i'd rather talk to you face to face about." So not really sure whats going to happen there but I will see him in person again in the beginning of the year. Now, onto the new craziness in my life. Shortly after that conversation I was contacted by his mentor who told me that he had heard I had a crush on him (the mentor) and wanted to have sex with me to see if it was something that he was into. Obviously if you want to have sex with a man it's something that you're into right? But anyways this guy is HOT, and someone I always wanted to hook up with but the problem is that we're all friends, and on top of that he's married. Mind you I was supposed to go and do this in November, but funds were low, and the more I thought about it the more awkward I felt about it. Not sure if i'm going to do it, but i'm starting to feel like I have a sign on my head that says confused straight men only. And he's not the only one. What do you guys think?

cumpigboy

I'm not going to even touch that one. I would just try to forget about the "mentor." Mentor's shouldn't be fucking the people involved with th ones they're helping. Not in my humble opinion anyway. There are tons of other hot fish in the sea to play with rather than getting yourself into an even muddier situation. Do you really care about this guy? Stay away from the horizontal mambo with the hot mentor and figure things out with your boy friend first. Then if it doesn't pan out, spread your fins and find another (hopefully more stable) fish. Just my humble opinion.