I'm a Master than has been looking for a "boy" to be my slave for decades now. I am in my early 60s now – and still looking for a slave somewhere between 18-45yo, but would prefer a boy who was in his late 20s or early 30s.
I have been on 4-5 different gay dating/BDSM sites off and on for all those years as well and I have found anyone. Over time I have expanded the range of appearance and even personality to give myself a better chance -- and nothing.
This is what is typical of what happens. In August and September I made a major effort of 3 different sites to find a slave. I have a profile that clearly describes I am looking for a slave, a general appearance, and what my interests and hobbies are. I always include several photos of myself.
In those two months I was likely contacted between 10-20 different guys. Some were outside of my general range, but I still chatted with them so we could get to know each other some before we meet.
I made arrangements to meet about 10-15 of them. I lost count because of what happened -- which was that NOT ONE of them showed up to meet with me as we had planned. In almost all cases they never contacted me to tell me they were not going to come and just stood me up. Then I got ghosted by them and never heard from any one of them again.
The WORST one was a guy in his mid 30s who had previous experience as a slave. He was bi and listed he was looking for either a Master or a Mistress. We talked over a period of two weeks and he expressed repeatedly he was very interesting in being my slave.
The night before we were to meet, I had him call me to confirm he would meet me. He did. The next day, a few hours before we were to meet, he called to say he would be a 1/2 hour late. That was fine.
He did NOT show up. Instead about an hour after he was suppose to show up and checked my email and found a message from him where he said "I need a Mistress! Sorry, it's not your fault." Well, fuck you.
He and I are still on one of the websites I used and he is still looking for a Mistress two months later.
As I said, about 10-15 guys told me they were interested in being my slave, not one showed, not one replied to my attempts to contact them again.
I live in the Greater Boston area of Massachusetts in the USA. There are a large number of universities in this area as well as the fact the my state was the first one to legalize same-sex marriage in the US. Massachusetts has always been very forward when it comes to the rights and acceptance of gay people. There are thousands of openly gay guys around this region.
October was a miserable month for me and I realized toward the end it was because I had spent so much time, energy, and emotion on meeting any one of these guys -- and it was all wasted.
There are a fair number of men who call themselves Masters but are either Doms or actually don't have a fucking clue what Mastery is.
In the same way there are a lot of boys who believe they are slaves, but are subs, or don't know what slavery actually is, or I think in a lot of case have NOT been able to accept that they are a slave and so cannot commit to what they need to do to become the person that they are.
(FYI, I define a sub as a "sexual slave" and a slave as a "sexual slave who does your laundry". That is, one is a slave only in the bedroom while the other is a slave 24/7.)
I no longer have a car so it has become near impossible for me to get to bars or events to try to meet a slave in person. I think I am just going to have to spent a lot of money on taxis to see if I can actually meet a potential slave in person at a club or somewhere.
As I said, this has been over and over again what happens for decades now and I cannot even begin to describe for extremely frustrating and depressing this has become for me.
I have wondered if it is me that is the problem. But I have talked with those who I consider real slaves, those who have served a Masters for years before something ends the relationship (usually the Master moves away and the slave cannot be taken with him) and they have told me I am a Master and not someone who just believes he is.
I'm a smart and clever guy and I have gone far beyond what other Master have done to find a slave -- or even just as a vanilla top trying to find a vanilla bottom for a relationship. I've search in ways that would boggle a lot of guys minds in the efforts and extent I have gone to find someone.
FUCKING HELL.
(I cannot even find an emoticon among the ones here to express how I feel.)
. . .
What you described is sadly extremely common.
I am bisexual and have been a Dominant before and I was looking for a submissive woman or man for a decade, and I have basically given up or now have the mentality that vanilla sex, and a vanilla "relationship" is fine.
I found lots of flakes, poseurs, and a lot of fake people who just want to fantasize about me being their dominant or Master but they never actually wanted to really actually ever meet and make this a reality.