In a trial, a  Southern small-town prosecuting attorney called his first witness, a  grandma otherly, elderly woman to the stand. He approached her and asked,  'Mrs. Jones, do you know me?' She responded, 'Why, yes, I do know you,Mr. Williams. I've known you since you were a boy, and frankly, you've been a  big disappointment to me. You lie, you cheat on your wife, and you  manipulate people and talk about them behind their backs. You think you're  a big shot when you haven't the brains to realize you'll never amount to  anything more than a two-bit paper pusher. Yes, I know you.'

The  lawyer was stunned. Not knowing what else to do, he pointed across the room and asked, 'Mrs. Jones, do you know the defense attorney?'

She  again replied, 'Why yes, I do. I've known Mr. Bradley since he was a  youngster, too. He's lazy, bigoted, and he has a drinking problem. He  can't build a normal relationship with anyone, and his law practice is one  of the worst in the entire state. Not to mention he cheate d on his wife  with three different women. One of them was your wife. Yes, I know  him.'

The defense attorney nearly died.

The judge asked both  counselors to approach the bench and, in a very quiet voice, said, If either of you idiots  asks her if she knows me, I'll send you both to the electric  chair.'