<?xml version="1.0" encoding="UTF-8"?><rss xmlns:dc="http://purl.org/dc/elements/1.1/" xmlns:content="http://purl.org/rss/1.0/modules/content/" xmlns:atom="http://www.w3.org/2005/Atom" version="2.0"><channel><title><![CDATA[Wal-Mart Has Everything!]]></title><description><![CDATA[<p dir="auto">One day, in line at the company cafeteria, Joe says to Mike behind him, 'My elbow hurts like hell. I guess I'd better see a doctor.'</p>
<p dir="auto">'Listen, you don't have to spend that kind of money,' Mike replies.</p>
<p dir="auto">'There's a diagnostic computer down at Wal-Mart. Just give it a urine sample and the computer will tell you what 's wrong and what to do about it.</p>
<p dir="auto">It takes ten seconds and costs ten dollars . . . A lot cheaper than a doctor.'</p>
<p dir="auto">So, Joe deposits a urine sample in a small jar and takes it to Wal-Mart.</p>
<p dir="auto">He deposits ten dollars, and the computer lights up and asks for the urine sample. He pours the sample into the slot and waits.</p>
<p dir="auto">Ten seconds later, the computer ejects a printout:</p>
<p dir="auto">'You have tennis elbow. Soak your arm in warm water and avoid heavy activity It will improve in two weeks. Thank you for shopping @ Wal-Mart.'</p>
<p dir="auto">That evening, while thinking how amazing this new technology was, Joe began wondering if the computer could be fooled.</p>
<p dir="auto">He mixed some tap water, a stool sample from his dog, urine samples from his wife and daughter, and a sperm sample for good measure.</p>
<p dir="auto">Joe hurries back to Wal-Mart, eager to check the results. He deposits ten dollars, pours in his concoction, and awaits the results.</p>
<p dir="auto">The computer prints the following:</p>
<p dir="auto">1. Your tap water is too hard. Get a water softener. (Aisle 9)<br />
2. Your dog has ringworm. Bathe him with anti-fungal shampoo. (Aisle 7)<br />
3. Your daughter has a cocaine habit. Get her into rehab.<br />
4. Your wife is pregnant. Twins. They aren't yours. Get a lawyer.<br />
5. If you don't stop playing with yourself, your elbow will never get better!</p>
<p dir="auto">Thank you for shopping @ Wal-Mart.</p>
]]></description><link>https://community.gaytor.rent/topic/943/wal-mart-has-everything</link><generator>RSS for Node</generator><lastBuildDate>Wed, 08 Apr 2026 15:00:06 GMT</lastBuildDate><atom:link href="https://community.gaytor.rent/topic/943.rss" rel="self" type="application/rss+xml"/><pubDate>Thu, 21 Aug 2008 03:13:04 GMT</pubDate><ttl>60</ttl><item><title><![CDATA[Reply to Wal-Mart Has Everything! on Mon, 10 Nov 2008 09:08:27 GMT]]></title><description><![CDATA[<p dir="auto">Awesome!</p>
]]></description><link>https://community.gaytor.rent/post/56256</link><guid isPermaLink="true">https://community.gaytor.rent/post/56256</guid><dc:creator><![CDATA[awesomeness1]]></dc:creator><pubDate>Mon, 10 Nov 2008 09:08:27 GMT</pubDate></item></channel></rss>