It's simple: Just pick one entry from column A, one from column B, one from column C, one from column D, and one from column E.

There aren't many rules for this, just like in real life. But a few suggestions:

• Originality is important. Saying, "Biden stole the 2020 election with Jewish space lasers" has been around a lot. But "Robert E. Lee invaded Ukraine with face masks" is creative.
• Credibility is not important. The Biden-space-laser thing proves that.
• You can swap nouns between columns A, C, and E
• You can add articles or other parts of speech to make the grammar work, if you're familiar with grammar.

This is a work in progress, and I would welcome additions to the items in the columns. I'd also enjoy hearing what new theories you come up with...and then we can have a contest to see how soon somebody finds a website that "proves" it. After all, if it's on the internet, it has to be true.