@bi4smooth A very impressive dissection of roles and responsibilities!

I would be fine if the meatier (sorry, not sorry) topics such as reproductive physiology, masturbation, consent, harassment, contraception, STDs, rape and incest were perceived as first-line parental jobs.

They should be, but many of us (parental types) didn't get the talk from our parents, and so don't know how to go about doing it! (For the record, my parents gave me a 4-volume book set on human reproduction!)

But knowing how many parents fail, I feel these topics should also be reinforced by the middle-school system through early high school -- especially for students transferring to upper classes from deficient middle school programs.

I agree completely. Human reproduction - including topics like STDs - should be taught in schools! But not the morality part of the equation. Topics like masturbation, abortion, birth control, homosexuality, etc. should be shown as "part of the Human experience" without the GOOD vs BAD part. (e.g.: People masturbate. If you want to know about your religion's feelings and teachings about it, ask your parents. I would say or ask your religious leaders, but too many of them are pedophiles, so better to stick with your parents.)

And with my secular (non)beliefs, I would rather keep God in the parental explanation of why we're incented to pursue sex as a feel-good biological imperative, and let the schools offer the alternative of a purely evolutionary approach.

As noted above: morals do not need to be taught in school. That is an area of instruction that should be left to parents (and, ahem, religious leaders)...

If you're a vibrant lover of life, sex education and exploration should have no expiration date, so bi4smooth, please provide links to your 1980s porn appearances, so that we may grow in knowledge, length and girth.

I wish I could. My ex-wife destroyed my VHS porn collection, and that included my only copies of the 2 movies I did (1 gay, 1 bi)...
I've looked for them online, but have never found either... there was a magazine shoot too, but alas, that also appears to have been left in the pre-Internet dustbin of history.

I would be fine if the meatier (sorry, not sorry) topics such as reproductive physiology, masturbation, sexual orientation, consent, contraception, STDs, etc., were perceived as first-line parental jobs.

But knowing how many parents fail, I feel these topics should also be reinforced by the middle-school system through early high school -- especially for students transferring to upper classes from deficient middle school programs.

And with my secular (non)beliefs, I would keep God in the parents' optional explanation of why we're incented to pursue sex as a feel-good biological imperative, and let the schools offer the alternative of an evolutionary approach.

If you're a vibrant lover of life, sex education and exploration should have no expiration date, so bi4smooth, please provide links to your 1980s porn appearances, so that we may grow in knowledge, length and girth.

As a dad IRL, I've had the talk with my children, and here are the salient points

• sex is natural - even masturbation
  There are 2 kinds of people in this world: those who masturbate and admit it, and those who masturbate and lie!
• sex must always be consensual. No actually means: "no, and stop asking"
• sex is best when you are using it to express your affection for another. "Purly physical sex" is fun - God made sex fun because He wanted for there to be lots of people; but "Romantic sex" is way, way better. You get to decide - it's your body, and your life, but as your dad, I'm gonna tell you: it's better when you love them!
• Lets talk about STD's - sex involves touching other people with your mouth, and/or your private areas - both of which are playgrounds for bacteria already. There are several different kinds of STDs, but they are diseases, not curses or punishments.
• Porn is not real - The guy who plays Superman cannot fly in real life, and real cops don't solve cases in 45-minutes! Like almost everything you see on TV, it is entertainment, and that is all!

OK - OK Enough about what I tell my kids in the talk - Here are some things I DO NOT talk about with my kids... PERIOD!

• Here's how you suck a cock the right way
• Here's the best way to rim (or eat out a girl)
• This is the best position to cum in
• TRY THIS or anything even remotely close to that!

So, my point is: there's a difference between what parents (and schools) should be teaching kids, and what they need to learn from their peers!

• physics of making babies - PARENTS
• morals of sex (e.g.: masturbation, love, rape, incest, etc.) - PARENTS
• HOW-TO's (what's hot, what's not, etc) - NOT PARENTS

@flozen

My only comment on this is that sex education should be taught from about aged 8, with zero religious input into it.

Leaving sex ed too late, or not taught at all as bible-thumping states would like, is harmful to a person's development. No one should be learning about sex from porn.

Good point. With better health and nutrition, the onset of puberty has been trending downward, perhaps 10 or 11 in some cases -- thus, education needed here.

And nothing wrong with kids a bit younger getting a less clinical description -- one that doesn't involve storks, or baskets left on doorsteps!

NOTE: I did porn in the mid-1980s - so I'm not speaking from some ivory tower

Oh, Matron!

My only comment on this is that sex education should be taught from about aged 8, with zero religious input into it.

Leaving sex ed too late, or not taught at all as bible-thumping states would like, is harmful to a person's development. No one should be learning about sex from porn.

Now, to self-answer my question -- what raphjd properly terms nettiquette -- I learned most about sex between 18-24 from porn. Early, dial-up Internet days.

Went to a college in a city small enough that my peers would party at the one gay bar, but rarely hook up. (After age 24 is another universe, lol.)

By 18+ usually the closest I got to porn were magazines, having grown up without much television or display devices. Was once able to reserve a video room at the library to watch The Blue Lagoon privately, and to me at that time was definitely porn, and there was no relief to be had until I made it back home.

Partner communication for me.

The worst take-away from porn as an educational tool is that the models never talk to each other--they're being told what to do by a director. In real life, communication is what makes sex even greater.

Younger guys who think they need to pull out when they orgasm

• in porn, its for the "money shot"
• in real life, it just makes a bigger mess
• in real life, you're missing out! You're biologically programmed to want to ram your penis deep into something (presumably, someone) when you orgasm - the effect being to get the semen that much closer to the egg(s) and that much more likely to procreate!

Younger guys who think that, once you orgasm, you jump right up and run off to get cleaned up

• in porn, it's because the scene's over, and you probably weren't all that into the other guy anyway
• in real life, you're missing the opportunity for real intimacy
• in real life, your partner may be multi-orgasmic, so you might not be done yet!

And those are just 2 ways their sex-lives are affected... never mind the idea that they can somehow follow a porn-like script to meet and hook-up with a stranger....

NOTE: I did porn in the mid-1980s - so I'm not speaking from some ivory tower