Is watching porn ok in a relationship?

[zeropolis79]

My partner and I watch porn while we have sex.. helps us

[FurryWolfPup]

Yeah it's perfectly fine as long as you are both honest and open about it.

My partner and myself have an extensive collection of porn, we share it, and openly discuss porn films and actors etc. We quite often send each porn pics and vids daily. It's quite hot knowing what turns your partner on and knowing it gets them off. Luckily we both roughly have the same taste in men, kinks and fetishes so it works out good for the both of us  :cheesy2:

Sometimes we watch it together, or sometimes one of us will be watching it and we just end up having sex anyway, or sometimes I will even surprise my partner by putting on a little porn show of my own with toys and gear and then he just ends up joining in ;D

[AnythingOld]

I don't know, I really think it depends on the relationship, and the relationship's ground rules. Personally, I did it once, and I had an overwhelming feeling of guilt, as he pointed out he new that I did. Mind you, I wasn't embarrassed that I watched porn; but I was more ashamed of my ex wrongfully interpreting that as saying he wasn't enough. But… That wasn't the case at all.

[FurryWolfPup]

@AnythingOld:

I don't know, I really think it depends on the relationship, and the relationship's ground rules. Personally, I did it once, and I had an overwhelming feeling of guilt, as he pointed out he new that I did. Mind you, I wasn't embarrassed that I watched porn; but I was more ashamed of my ex wrongfully interpreting that as saying he wasn't enough. But… That wasn't the case at all.

I had a similar experience in a previous relationships. One guy said that he didn't think porn should be used in a healthy relationship, so I threw all mine out only to find he had an extensive collection hidden away on his PC.

In another relationship I admitted to watching porn and was scolded for it, as the ex at the time believed it was wrong for me to even look at someone else, and made me feel guilty, so i ended up deleting 2TB of porn to keep him happy, but as it turned out he too watched porn secretly behind my back.

Turns out both those partners had control issues and were quite abusive to me anyway.

So this time around things are very different in my current (and hopefully last) relationship. We have complete honest and openness about such things, and it's a much healthier and happier environment for us both. There's no secrets or hiding, and no shame or embarrassment and no feelings of guilt, and we both have our private time if we want it.

But I agree, it's definitely depends on the relationship, and the relationship's ground rules…as long as the rules are not being secretly broken and there is actually honest and open communication about your want's, needs and desires.

Yes it can be hard at first to hear that the person you love finds someone else sexually attractive, but it can also be quite liberating, because if we are honest with ourselves, we all do it, it's just human nature.

[AnythingOld]

@FurryWolfPup:

I had a similar experience in a previous relationships. One guy said that he didn't think porn should be used in a healthy relationship, so I threw all mine out only to find he had an extensive collection hidden away on his PC.

In another relationship I admitted to watching porn and was scolded for it, as the ex at the time believed it was wrong for me to even look at someone else, and made me feel guilty, so i ended up deleting 2TB of porn to keep him happy, but as it turned out he too watched porn secretly behind my back.

You know, in reference to your last two ex's….. While I did do it once while I was with my ex, overall, the need for porn was almost non-existent. Why? Because the love I had for that person was so very strong, and  I was very satisfied with him because I loved him. So, not watching porn really wasn't a "protest," or some kind of "penance," or moral thing.. It was just a progression of the love I had for that individual.

However, today....... I think we're all dealing with a very different breed of people.

[SimonSaid]

@FurryWolfPup:

Yeah it's perfectly fine as long as you are both honest and open about it.

My partner and myself have an extensive collection of porn, we share it, and openly discuss porn films and actors etc. We quite often send each porn pics and vids daily. It's quite hot knowing what turns your partner on and knowing it gets them off. Luckily we both roughly have the same taste in men, kinks and fetishes so it works out good for the both of us  :cheesy2:

Sometimes we watch it together, or sometimes one of us will be watching it and we just end up having sex anyway, or sometimes I will even surprise my partner by putting on a little porn show of my own with toys and gear and then he just ends up joining in ;D

Sounds really hot!

[FurryWolfPup]

@SimonSaid:

Sounds really hot!

Oh it definitely is…well the hubby seems to think so  :cheesy2:

[lf4317]

My partner and I have done it. I do suggest that you discuss watching porn with you partner, so that there is an understanding of when it's ok to watch, how long is ok, and how often ok.

[swegay]

Of course watching porn is ok. As long it's not a substitute for sex with your partner.
Even if you have a sex life with your partner it's important to have sex with yourself.

[jkronfuss]

I'm OK with it, I even watched porno with exs as a turn on, it worked well but not every one of them was into that.

[maxnl]

it all depends on your relationship. everyone is different.

[MulderYuffie]

Of course it's ok!

[jontron]

I think there's nothing wrong with it either as long as your sex life as a couple is healthy also.

Based on previous experiences, I view it as a red flag if the person I'm with equates porn as cheating.

[iheartbears]

I don't think I would be with someone who flat out forbid me from watching porn.

[AnythingOld]

@iheartbears:

I don't think I would be with someone who flat out forbid me from watching porn.

It's a sticky situation. 'Cause you can look at it in two ways. Is he trying to control you? Does he think you'll cheat if you watch it? Or does he think he's not enough when you watch it? So many different ways…. But, like I've said earlier (I think), if I really loved the person I'm with, I naturally don't have the desire to watch porn. Unless of course, I'm not getting it enough from him, and that would be a discussion we'd need to have.

[Eridanos]

I don't think porn is bad, is a fun way to get ideas and to get into the mood.

Once you two get it going, don't watch the porn, watch your partner (or watch it in discreet glances, I myself get bored with doggie style as I need to watch my partner's face, not his back)

[upNXT]

I think it's perfectly OK single or as a couple

[eobox91103]

My first (long-term) partner didn't like porn at all–he said it was "boring" and "useless."  But I was much less experienced than he was, and watched porn (on my own) as an instructional tool.  I know that what I learned from these "training films" improved our sex life and our relationship.

[andergarcia]

Of course it's ok. My partner and I do it very often.

[rock2005]

@AnythingOld:

@iheartbears:

I don't think I would be with someone who flat out forbid me from watching porn.

It's a sticky situation. 'Cause you can look at it in two ways. Is he trying to control you? Does he think you'll cheat if you watch it? Or does he think he's not enough when you watch it? So many different ways…. But, like I've said earlier (I think), if I really loved the person I'm with, I naturally don't have the desire to watch porn. Unless of course, I'm not getting it enough from him, and that would be a discussion we'd need to have.

That's the point: Not watching porn is NOT about loving your partner. It's all about sex impulses, fantasies, desires…

For an exemple: we all might have a fantasy that turn us on when it's just a fantasy, but we might not be that excited to (or we simply can't) make it happen (like public spaces, beach, sex with your teacher, boss, whatever). And watching porn may bring these fantasies alive, make you experience it... something like that.
When you're on a relationship, some fantasies just don't disappear, and maybe your partner is not into that thing you wanna do... That's why I think it's a helthy thing to do when you do it ocasionaly. It's a moment for your own, your own fantasies, it also kinda feed your creativity a little bit..

The problem beggins, as mentioned before by a lot of users here, when you're not attracted that much to your partner. You find in porn the best scape to satisfy yourself and keep the relationship going. I actually don't think it's a problem by itself… to me, the problem is: does it bother you? Why do you run for porn instead of having all that sex coming true with your partner? That's something people must think of. Sometimes the person you love is not the person who drives you crazy... but how much are you ok with it? It's fine if your husband is not the best sex you ever had, but no fun at all?...

Love is the base for a great relationship, but it'snt everything. Sex is as important as love, and if there's not a match on it, maybe you should go find it with someone else.

Hope it helps