Apparently no one returns them.

:blink:   :blink:   :blink:   :blink:   :blink:   :blink:

My partner said that onions are the only food that makes him cry, so just to be sure, I threw a coconut at him.

:blink:   :blink:   :blink:   :blink:   :blink:   :blink:

Today a nice old lady came to my door.

She asked for a small donation toward the local swimming pool.

I gave her a glass of water.

:blink:   :blink:   :blink:   :blink:   :blink:   :blink:

I've been looking for my ex-boyfriend's killer for two years, but so far, no one will do it.

:blink:   :blink:   :blink:   :blink:   :blink:   :blink:

My father told me that marriage is like a deck of cards.

In the beginning, all you need is two hearts and a diamond.

By the end, you wish you had a club and a spade.

:blink:   :blink:   :blink:   :blink:   :blink:   :blink:

I'm opting for cremation, because it's my last chance for a smoking hot body.