The word Queer
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I struggled with the word queer until I met more genderqueer people. It is very bleeding heart of me, but I liked the idea of "taking queer back" and making the community more inclusive by using queer instead of strict labels. I'm also relatively young, so what do I know?
Thanks for your intervention. As the OP, please do remember the hurt and distress that older gays have when they hear the word used. As I said originally, it'll never be a word that can be associated with pride by us. Sometimes when I hear it being used it's like having the term rammed down my throat violently.
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First off, let me say that I fully understand the weight and negativity you are associating with the use of the term 'queer'. And despite what I or others may write to try to change that negative feeling, it's possible that feeling will never go away.
I've had that same negative feeling when hearing or being calling queer, but I've decided to force myself to actively change my attitude about it because I fully support the move to take back the word and change it from a negative to a positive. And the shift in society, while slow, is actually following as younger groups now feel more empowered to use the word queer.
It takes time, but taking ownership of a word that once was used to hurt you is very liberating.
Lastly, as for your objection to being lumped in with the LGBTQ crowd, if you know the sting of being called queer, then you know that there was a time not too far back when being gay meant isolation and persecution. Banding together was one of the only ways to have enough numbers to fight for representation and change.
Just because things are much better now doesn't mean we should conveniently purge the other letters who are still fighting for better rights. We know the pain of rejection… Let's not make the mistake of rejecting others who have fought for equality alongside us. -
My friends use the word all the time but I dont.
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As we see from Blackwing it seems that the change from gay to queer is hatred of non-leftists, by the leftist facists.
Calling me a homophobe for not liking "queer" and flaging my YouTube video explaining why I hate the word as "hate speech" even though I'm gay, shows the mentality of the nazi left. It's not about reclaiming a word. It's about a sub-group shitting on the group that fought hard to get the rights the facist left now enjoy and abuse.
So, who's gonna tell Morgan Freeman that he now has to use "nigger(s)" when he speaks about black people?!
I know that any reply will either ignore the comparison or do some crackheaded justification for "queer" but not "nigger".
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There is no rule forcing you to use the word queer. I have friends who use it and friends who don't.
While there may be radical groups on the extreme left who might force the issue, you should just ignore them. Extremists will always exist on both the left AND right.
It doesn't mean that all liberals or conservatives are extremists. Neither does it negate the good intention of wanting to reclaim a once derogatory term.
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Maybe not for "queer", at the moment. However, let's not forget that the left has gotten Canada and NYC to make the use of certain speech mandatory, with the full weight of the law behind them. Also, many college campuses have some extremely leftist rules for speech.
Of course, there are "radical" groups on both sides. The problem is that moderate liberals still refuse to call out their own because they are terrified of their own people. The left has a habit of eating their own. We saw it here when I finally convinced liberals to condemn the violence by Antifa.
I'm a classic liberal, but to modern liberals that makes me a nazi/fascist.
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I am not use "queer" because I am not third-gendered or a member of a sub-type of my own gender. I'm just a dude who likes dudes. Find your revolutionary praxis elsewhere, please.
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Most of my early exposure to the word queer is in victorian literature. Soooo, no male-on-male connotations for me.
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Most of my early exposure to the word queer is in victorian literature. Soooo, no male-on-male connotations for me.
Damned you're old.
I'd give you a hug, but I'm afraid you'd break a hip.
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Queer is one of those words, likewise with homosexual, I seem accusomted to, and comfortable using. Especially when I don't know any other proper words to use.
For example with homosexual, "I was looking up homosexual history on the internet."
I can use gay yes, but that's more friendly and social and not educational or formal.
"I was looking up gay history on the internet."
To me I don't see them as bad words.
Same with the word queer.
"I am a queer man, looking to talk to other queer men."
As queer is more umbrella to use. As the man could be gay, transgender, bisexual etc. and it's just simpler that way.
I could say LGBT aside from that, but that's not only confusing, but also puzzling. As men are not lesbian.
"I am an LGBT man, looking to talk to other LGBT men."
However, if someone does not want me using those words in their company, (as I understand that to some people they are bad words) I will refrain from doing so.
That's my take.
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Nice of you to say that in Private conversations you'd refrain from using the word. However when you read it in magazines and newspapers, hear it on the radio and on TV and in film, the offence taken by many is not assuaged. If fact because of the lack of self censorship, the offence is compounded.
As to LGBT, I'd separate L and G from the Band T. I have no problem with my lesbian sisters being associated with me as a gay man. It is basically two people of the same sex wanting to be recognised as such.
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eh… Queer means like "Weird/Strange/Odd/Abnormal"
in my mind, when i hear queer, it conjures images of the rarer snowflake types: queens/trans/flamboyance etc... like... "not gender-typical"
queers can be straight, gay, bi or anywhere inbetween. but i know that's not really how the word is used... but this is the image it conjures.
also, etymologically, queer is kinda negative. "Gay" on the other hand just meant happy/frolicking. You can tell this from norwegian, whose word for "fun" is... Gøy...
i mean, i will let my friends get away with referring to me as "that dirty faggot" tongue in cheek, cause i know theyre taking the piss; but i would never accept that shit off a randomer.
having said that: considering almost everyone (except those with A+ gaydar) are super surprised to learn that i'm a full on homo… i'd say i'm anything BUT queer.
still... i think the whole LGBTQIWTFBBQ+ is getting a bit "overinclusive", that is... a group stops being meaningful when you can no longer relate to it's members... i honestly cannot relate to the life, struggles and pleasures or even the basic mindset of trans people. i really can't. i sympathise, but will never understand or relate.
literally all the LGBT+++++ have in common is "nonstraightness" and a history of repression by a prudish societal culture. that is all. it's not really a good basis to bond on anymore... there's not even really anything to unify against as a common cause. (and no, "the patriarchy" is not the answer)
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Queer, in my mind, has evolved.. from a negative thing to a more softer word… in my lifetime it has evolved from originally meaning a word that should somehow hurt me if they called me that (similar to what previous posters have said where Queer meant weird etc) - to now more like just "different" or not what others consider the stereotypical "normal" sexuality
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Different people have different reaction to words. It sounds pretty obvious to me.
You can take your gut reaction (or anyone else's) and place it within a political movement frame but that is misleading, cause then the conversation boils down to petty name-calling about leftists, right-wingers and so on. Stupid bickering that is.You can also elaborate an entire linguistic theory from it all, describing a language in black and white terms like "sexist" or "homophobic" and the inherent need to appropriate words in order to shift the meaning.
That endeavor is not impossible but it wont appeal to everyone (the OP for instance doesnt want to use the word queer in a positive, self-describing way). Also an obvious thing to expect, but it should also be obvious that your mindset and your gut reaction doesnt have to be shared by everyone. And also that this doesnt mean that everyone else differs from you in any fundamental way. This is just one small part of the movement for acceptance of people of differing sexual and gender identities than the perceived norm.Personally I will occasionally feel like flaunting my sexual identity by saying stuff like "Yeah I'm a faggot, got a problem?". I wont go as far as using the word every day describing myself in order to appropriate it (I dont care about words that much personally), but the principle is the same I think. You dont have to follow along and you cant expect that all achievements will be of your mindset and consequently that they wont hit an emotional string of yours.
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As the OP I want to come back on this: especially as I had to my horror another "interpretation" of the "Q" word.
Basically The Q word is not one I can associate with pride. pure and simple. To me it's exactly the same as the N word for blacks (or whatever the correct term I'm supposed to use these days) Q is a word of abuse. Full Stop.
The new "interpretation" supposedly is "Questioning". To which I say that also has nothing to do with me as a Gay Male. I just wish we could get back to the simple L&G. My Lesbian and Gay Brothers and Sisters, I'm give my right arm for. The B's T's, and the others have nothing in common with me by way of sexual identity. Let them have their own groups. My Lesbian and Gay brothers and Sisters have still plenty to fight for. I'm sticking to them.
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I dont see why you have to so adamantly separate yourself from the rest.
Do you lose something by that grouping? -
star:)
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Just so everyone knows, one of my stalkers, WAFFLEZ, is the one who's following me around downvoting and "angry facing my posts regardless of content.
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