ANGER MANAGEMENT, when leaving comments in Torrent presentations:
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I'd like to add in that quite often if you already have the 1st warning, but go a long time before getting a 2nd warning we usually tend to treat that as a new 1st warning.
Of course, there are variables, such as how bad the infractions were/are, did you apologize, etc, etc.
Everyone has a PMS day now and again and we understand that.
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The fact that you haven't actually SEEN some of the PMs that (yes) to me, were shocking, in the sense of being very surprised at the extreme hostility occasional members expressed back to me personally… when being asked to either tone down their rhetoric, or in the worst cases, have minor (one day warned status, for example) punishments applied to their accounts.
The time-consuming task of having to go through a member's TORRENT COMMENT HISTORY and DELETE the most offensive ones... is frustrating, too, as an unpaid volunteer... along with my time being somewhat valuable to me, eh?
So... I'm saying two things, really... you haven't actually had to SEE some of what I've seen here, (I'm AWARE that I haven't SHARED ANY of the EXTREME ones!!! :afr: ) then two, it's quite likely I haven't (in my personal life & contacts) come across the "significant amount of the gay community who are just rude, and wouldn't know respect if it smacked them in the balls" gays... as you have, which you so eloquently expressed in so many words.
Too, it could be that I tend to be on the kinder / gentle side of personality types, in general, and, as such, am attracted to like types, and have tended to have created like types friendships and relationships... over the course of my 7 decade lifetime.
So yeah, I get surprised occasionally! But many members write in to REPORT other members for this type of behavior, so... "I'm not alone" when it comes to really disliking (or in the case of member's reactions) being really offended by some of the comments that get left on torrents. The GAY-BASHING comments are often the most spectacular, LOL. :love:
Thanks for your insightful input!!! MUCH appreciated!!! :love:
You know, I must admit, I didn't get it at first. I suffered some of the most trauma from my OWN gay people. My biggest mistake growing up, was to think because someone else is gay like me, that they would be kinder, gentler, and more understanding. And that wasn't real life, and it was a hard lesson for me. I had to understand on my own that our gay experiences are sometimes worlds apart, and there will be many gays who just will not get it. Then again, perhaps maybe they're just evil, and we've given them too much benefit of the doubt.
If someone statements borderlines harassment, or there is no context behind their comments, band the fuckers. If someone is unwilling to apologize, or at least be able to articulate their position, then that can only mean it was done out of willful intent.
-AOS
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Think before you type and click or else suffer the consequences.
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i think if people are frustrated, this is not the place to unload. people should realize that they're anonymous behind there computer. this doesn't mean you get a free pass at being negative and aggressive (with words). When you realize that you are, you should take step back to actively stop this urge to be impolite.
Maybe this sounds a bit childish or pointless, but acting rude is actually pointless and childish.
Sorry just had to share this
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i think if people are frustrated, this is not the place to unload. people should realize that they're anonymous behind there computer. this doesn't mean you get a free pass at being negative and aggressive (with words). When you realize that you are, you should take step back to actively stop this urge to be impolite.
Maybe this sounds a bit childish or pointless, but acting rude is actually pointless and childish.
Sorry just had to share this
I think when you've been a member for a decade and have moved beyond lurker status you may gain a bit more appreciation for some more pointed comments from our senior members. There are a LOT of stupid people in this world, and by nature, some percentage of that filters into everything, everywhere, including here. Case in point: people asking to have others go buy subscriptions and load content because they believe they are 'entitled' to ask that. WRONG. People who have shit ratios, doe very little uploading, leach their asses off, and then complain about something when they really don't have a right to. People who argue against the rules when they agreed to said rules when they joined and no think their individual behavior, or who they are, entitles them to decry the rules or violate/break them. People who again, don't do shit on this site yet complain and leave their opinions and negative comments - as if we the community are supposed to stop and take heed to what they say. I have ZERO PROBLEM with working with lurkers, such as you, and others, who may have misconceptions about technology, process, torrenting, etc because we all are learning every day. I've learned new things every year for over a decade interacting with this site. I also have ZERO PROBLEM with anyone who honestly comes across as sincere, perhaps confused or uncertain, or who take an apologetic tone in their forum posts or questions they ask. In fact I'll jump through hoops to help out if I can. That includes spending hours chasing after identifying "who is this guy" requests on these forums. The community is what it is based upon how we make it to be, and that's really the point. But I also have ZERO PROBLEM calling out an ass-hat, or ungrateful twit when it is appropriate or a piece of humble pie is deserved.
There are times I have to step back from responding to some people's posts or forum posts because I'll just rip their heads off if I don't. We are all human - so I give leeway even in observing other's behaviors and remind myself "that could easily have been me saying those things".
Give more
Take less
Help others when you can
Be respectful, be mindful, and appreciate others opinions and the adversity of our global community.Because at the end of the day, we are all collecting porn to jack off to - and it's all about getting off and having a fun time doing so.
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I'll admit I sometimes get annoyed at "Can you help me find XYZ video?" requests when I can find it by typing XYZ into search. I also stay far away from the discussion of politics, which I'm really interested in, due to people who seem unable to refrain from ad hominem attacks (in the thread names!)
But as people say, this is a place where we are getting Queer content for free. I also download non-porn gay movies and tv shows. I enjoy giving movie or book recommendations and seeing whether other people think the latest Blockbusters are worth my time and money.
If someone sends the occassional Spam pm or says something I regard as offensive I can just hit the delete button.
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You know, I left behind a lot of public trackers because the mods/owners were just retarded! How strange that gay trackers are so different. The mods and owners on gay trackers are usually friendly and level headed, and the members are bitchy as hell. LOLOLOLOL ;D
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Just to comment that it may not be as bad as you think.
Your sample is biased since you only look at the people rude enough/low impulse control to leave nasty and/or vulgar comments in the first place. There may be more than 10%-20% willing to apologize who avoid making problems to start off with.
These statistically wouldn't be the members writing rude comments to begin with though.
It's a pre-selection bias. The angry trolls tend to write angry comments, and then tend to write angry responses to moderators. It kind of fits with their overall behavior pattern.
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Just to comment that it may not be as bad as you think.
Your sample is biased since you only look at the people rude enough/low impulse control to leave nasty and/or vulgar comments in the first place. There may be more than 10%-20% willing to apologize who avoid making problems to start off with.
These statistically wouldn't be the members writing rude comments to begin with though.
It's a pre-selection bias. The angry trolls tend to write angry comments, and then tend to write angry responses to moderators. It kind of fits with their overall behavior pattern.
It's a shame though…. You really have to wonder an individuals mental health status, investing so much time doing these kinds of pointless things. It could only mean they have absolutely no control of their own life. "Misery likes company."
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We should all be thankful for the free porn. If the upload is not what you want, please respect the uploader. We all have different tastes. leaving nasty comments is not the solution. Be thankful!
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Take a deep breath every time you feel like being negative with comments, people posting torrents are going out of their way, anger is just a reaction response to a deep rooted disappointment with yourself and life, the only one looking bad, whether you are hiding behind a screen or not is yourself. take responsibility for your emotions and reactions, that's part of the reason why this world is in its current situation, people blaming others for their disappointment in life, look inside instead of looking at so much porn 1st of all, love yourself, work on yourself and stop spreading hate. :love:
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A good norm to follow is to have comments (on torrents or in the forum) be about the topic at hand, not about other people. It's one thing to say "I don't like movie (or politician) XYZ," but quite another to say, "You're an idiot if you like movie (or politician) XYZ." There is, unfortunately, a lot of the latter going on, especially in the forum. It's probably a necessary evil, as the alternative would be to have our already overworked monitors policing every comment.
An important exception to the "principles, not personalities" rule would be giving thanks to someone for their efforts, such as a well-crafted torrent upload. Torrent quality seems to be drooping, so positive reinforcement of a job well done can benefit all of us.
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What about the simple fact that some people simply have knee-jerk reactions…no matter how polite or tactful the commenter is trying to be…or simply don't like being corrected, or having something wrong or incorrect being pointed out to them, no matter (once again) how tactful or nice the commenter is trying to be…and they simply fly off the handle, regardless whether they are the ones who are wrong?
A lot of people are like that on the internet for some reason. Some simply do not like being correct no matter how wrong they are or how nice the commenter tries to be. Frankly, IMHO, people like that have issues they need to deal with in their real lives.
Just to point out regarding the increased font size I use…which someone has actually bitched to me about in a comment awhile back, claiming I was throwing around some kind of attitude that I had to make my comment stand out with the larger font...Keep in mind that some of us, even wearing glasses, have trouble reading a small font and have to use a larger font size.
Try and keep that in mind, by the way, instead of complaining about it. -
Ok you have me convinced that apologies work.
I would like to apologize for expecting subtitles when an Uploader twice in a row mistakenly copied/pasted (then removed) Subtitles English [CC] from their torrent description, and for not having the best attitude in my comments.
Managed to find Spanish subtitles for one of them but nothing would quite line up after using machine translation and subtitle shifters. Have to say that was interesting. Now have a bit more appreciation for two of my friends that work in the captioning and subtitle fields, as well as for Sedit's work on Gas.
This Is What Love In Action Looks Like and Somefarwhere are both available at Amazon in my region.
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Yes ! ! !
Someone uploaded a better quality version of Somefarwhere with English Subtitles.
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Someone uploaded This Is What Love In Action Looks Like with actual working English Subtitles!
Would have put all these in the same post if could edit. And yes, I was a wee bit angry at first, but this got resolved by GT members nicely :love:
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It's honestly kind of shocking how petty some people can be.
Especially since we all help provide content for free to each other.
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omg what is it?
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Echoing an original comment here, isn't it amazing at how well even short apologies work ("sorry, it was a bad day, and I was a bit flip . . .")? Early in my work career, an opposing party in a deal did exactly that after some uncivil (and bad) behavior, and it cleared matters away as well as a Spring shower. And it cost him nothing, in the end . . . . I remember it to this day.
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