<![CDATA[Aggressiveness in a relationship]]>A couple weeks ago I ended a pretty damaging relationship that involved some violent outbursts towards me. It wasnt a full on fists fighting, but it did entail a lot of pushing, yanking, almost wrestling on the ground, pinning against the wall etc for the most ridiculous of excuses. During the relationship I was told or it was insinuated that I am the one who is causing this.
Even though I ended the relationship for that very reason, I think its embedded in my head that I better reduce my reactions lest I cause a (disproportionately) worse reaction.

That leads me to today's incident. Its midnight and I am walking home on a relatively safe area. A motorcycle drives past me and I give it a glance cause they were talking loud and it caught my attention. The driver (there was another guy at the back) took offense at me looking and decided to do a U turn and challenge me. He gets off the bike and asks the usual "why u lookin'" brute talk. Before I could do anything he tries to slap me in the face, which luckily misfired a bit and it just scraped the side of my head. Meanwhile, I couldnt even utter a word to my defense, as I should have. Beating the crap out of him was unfortunately not an option cause I just dont have it in me.

That's what saddens me the most. I felt like I silenced myself in fear that it might get worse and I just… ran.
I would run anyway, but I hate it that I felt like I was mute.

Anyway this is probably blog material. Maybe I just need to hear I'm not the only one recovering from such awful situations / bad relationships.  😞

]]>https://community.gaytor.rent/topic/36940/aggressiveness-in-a-relationshipRSS for NodeWed, 08 Apr 2026 15:42:55 GMTSun, 03 Dec 2017 23:21:25 GMT60<![CDATA[Reply to Aggressiveness in a relationship on Tue, 13 Feb 2018 15:39:24 GMT]]>I wish I could blame the economy for the incident!

]]>https://community.gaytor.rent/post/237722https://community.gaytor.rent/post/237722Tue, 13 Feb 2018 15:39:24 GMT<![CDATA[Reply to Aggressiveness in a relationship on Thu, 08 Feb 2018 01:11:11 GMT]]>Sir, you live in a shithole country.

]]>https://community.gaytor.rent/post/237519https://community.gaytor.rent/post/237519Thu, 08 Feb 2018 01:11:11 GMT<![CDATA[Reply to Aggressiveness in a relationship on Wed, 07 Feb 2018 16:23:54 GMT]]>@erikiwi:

i think you should read about gaslighting. it seems like you are making parallells between a random encounter to what used to be your normal situation.

100%. This was my initial thought too.

]]>https://community.gaytor.rent/post/237504https://community.gaytor.rent/post/237504Wed, 07 Feb 2018 16:23:54 GMT<![CDATA[Reply to Aggressiveness in a relationship on Sun, 04 Feb 2018 00:55:07 GMT]]>No, you're not the only one. Sometimes it's good to have a bad experience as a reference to be able to appreciate the "right one".

]]>https://community.gaytor.rent/post/237331https://community.gaytor.rent/post/237331Sun, 04 Feb 2018 00:55:07 GMT<![CDATA[Reply to Aggressiveness in a relationship on Mon, 29 Jan 2018 11:54:46 GMT]]>@kenjysn1:

aggressiveness is a male nature, especially in gay relationship, there are two males, each of them wants the initiative and controls, the best way to avoid this situation is one become obedient. in straight relationship here, females are always passive.

Oh my God. Should the "obedient" man also wear a dress and be the bottom? It's 2018 your attitudes don't reflect at all what I see in my life, like at all.

]]>https://community.gaytor.rent/post/237068https://community.gaytor.rent/post/237068Mon, 29 Jan 2018 11:54:46 GMT<![CDATA[Reply to Aggressiveness in a relationship on Sat, 27 Jan 2018 23:47:56 GMT]]>i think you should read about gaslighting. it seems like you are making parallells between a random encounter to what used to be your normal situation.

]]>https://community.gaytor.rent/post/236904https://community.gaytor.rent/post/236904Sat, 27 Jan 2018 23:47:56 GMT<![CDATA[Reply to Aggressiveness in a relationship on Sat, 09 Dec 2017 20:18:59 GMT]]>Post trauma I guess. Its the demons of the oast relationship. In time and with effort you will get over that.

]]>https://community.gaytor.rent/post/234014https://community.gaytor.rent/post/234014Sat, 09 Dec 2017 20:18:59 GMT<![CDATA[Reply to Aggressiveness in a relationship on Fri, 08 Dec 2017 01:40:16 GMT]]>@Grotomode:

Maybe I just need to hear I'm not the only one recovering from such awful situations / bad relationships.  😞

Maybe you just dated a narcissist.

Check this out: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=nRytEgABFuo&list=PLcjFWuvIFFzJr5eXvb4rG_F-68lw4TK4T

@kenjysn1:

aggressiveness is a male nature, especially in gay relationship, there are two males, each of them wants the initiative and controls, the best way to avoid this situation is one become obedient. in straight relationship here, females are always passive.

Right.. Abuse is abuse!

]]>https://community.gaytor.rent/post/233906https://community.gaytor.rent/post/233906Fri, 08 Dec 2017 01:40:16 GMT<![CDATA[Reply to Aggressiveness in a relationship on Wed, 06 Dec 2017 07:36:12 GMT]]>Nah, I've known plenty gay and straight couples that arent like this. This is just a stereotype.
In my case it was probably the wrong combination of characters.

]]>https://community.gaytor.rent/post/233796https://community.gaytor.rent/post/233796Wed, 06 Dec 2017 07:36:12 GMT<![CDATA[Reply to Aggressiveness in a relationship on Tue, 05 Dec 2017 05:06:01 GMT]]>aggressiveness is a male nature, especially in gay relationship, there are two males, each of them wants the initiative and controls, the best way to avoid this situation is one become obedient. in straight relationship here, females are always passive.

About your midnight incident, I think the first thing we need concern is ourselves safety, so in the case of danger, run is not a bad choice. They are two and may have knives or gun, you never known, unless you think you have above 70% chance to win.

there’s a Chinese proverb called 审时度势(shên shí duó shì) is about how to deal with incidentes.

]]>https://community.gaytor.rent/post/233737https://community.gaytor.rent/post/233737Tue, 05 Dec 2017 05:06:01 GMT