Well, that's either a poor reflection on your level of commitment, or a signal that the food is controlling you, and not the other way around.

If you're at all serious about better nutrition and weight loss, cut out ALL cheat meals.

People tend to under-report the number of times they cheat, as well as the amount of unhealthy food consumed.

So, this self-sabotage either needs to stop completely, or be resigned to your current weight, and its eventual, continued increase.

I hope you find courage, and lose your excuses.  Good luck!