My partner of 24 years died suddenly in 2004. We were on vacation in Key West, and it ended with me performing CPR while trying to resuscitate him. It was traumatic and horrible and I had flashbacks for quite a while. The man was my soulmate. You know those couples who have been together so long that they finish each other's sentences? Well, we used to start each other's sentences. We were devoted to each other, and for each of us, there was nobody else we'd rather be with at any given time. It's been 14 years now (I can't believe I'm saying it), and I still miss him terribly. I find I don't think of him too much because it's too painful to dwell long. I mean, literally painful.

But for those who lost their loved one recently, it does get better. It may get worse before it gets better, but it does get better. You learn how to become an individual again and how to laugh and smile and have a good time. And you can learn to love again. Until then, be good to yourself. Your partner isn't there to be good to you, so take care of yourself for him. If there's something you want to do, do it. If there's something you think would make you smile or happy, do it. Baby yourself, give yourself time, and have faith that you'll come through it in more or less one piece. You'll be different, for sure. I miss the old me. But I like some things about the new me too. So have faith and hope and know that you'll one day find yourself happy again.

There may or there may not be a reason for each death… but we should appreciate all of the good memories we have of our beloved ones as their legacy.

P.S.:Something really nice is when you get to dream of them in fact, I dreamed of my best friend last night. There's something magical about dreaming with those who are no longer among us, but that still have a place in our hearts.