now both of us become more mature, less gay. I don’t say gay is not mature, but as an adult there are more things to worry sexual  orientation is only small piece of it.

then it was about 4 strong guys who were holding me down, while a female take advantage of it...
then 4 strong guys holding me down while a feminine man would take advantage of me...

well... i realized i was gay when i downloaded some gay pics at 14yo using the computer at school in info lab
to check while i was so focused on glans penis... when i was watching straight porn...

i wanted to know what would happen at watching two at the same time... also i wasn't interested or aroused by a vagina, i still didn't realize i was gay...

i remember first i laughed at the gay pics, and then like 5 mins later i was already aroused madly...

it was 14yo on may, i remember i cried on saturday not because i was gay... but because i lost my dad at 7, and now i had to endure people picking me cause i was gay too... i disliked growing up when the teacher asked what did u do for father's day... and selected boys and girls in the class... when she picked me i always said he was dead... i didn't like feeling different...

but hey... here i am at least now i do not have any alimony to pay, and even if there is a world wide crisis i do not have a family and especially kids to support -.-'

And by realize that you were pretty gay, I don't mean that you just were into men and enjoyed looking at underwear ads, I mean like that you were super gay.

For me it was when I went by a gay bar and saw this guy, probably middle aged, in the parking lot in this ridiculous outfit with leather chaps with his ass hanging out, just some cod piece thing covering his dick, and a leather vest. Was like the sort of outfit you'd imagine someone putting on for some comedy movie with the most stereotypically gay leather outfit. And main thing I could think of when I saw this guy was that I wanted to get fucked silly by this guy as he called me his bitch.

Previous to that I usually felt like I was a pretty straight acting gay guy that wouldn't want to get into anything all that weird, feeling like while I may sleep with some guys that it was basically just wanting to be like hitting up a bro and having some fun, after that night I pretty much wanted to be fucked long and hard by older and/or black men that could make me feel like the only the only thing I was good for was being fucked.

Wow!

If you hadn't visited this bar, you would have been married to a woman, wouldn't you?

::)