The first redneck said, ‘My wife’s so dumb, she bought a toilet, and we don’t even have running water.’

The second said, ‘That’s nothing! Mine bought a ceiling fan, and we don’t even have electricity.’

The third said, ‘Aw, that’s nothing! I was goin’ through my wife’s purse for some whisky money t’other night and found a box of condoms. And you know what? She ain’t even got a penis!’