"As good as this is," said the Scotsman, "I still prefer the pubs back
home.

In Glasgow, there's a wee place called McTavish's. The landlord goes out
of  his way for the locals. When you buy four drinks, he will buy the fifth
drink for you."

"Well, Angus," said the Englishman, "At my local in London, the Red Lion,
the barman will buy you your third drink after you buy the first two."

"Ahhh, dat's nothin'," said the Newfie. "Back home in Sin Jahn's there's
the  Codfish Bar. The moment you set foot in the place, they'll buy you a
drink,  then another, all the drinks you like, actually. Then, when you've had
enough drinks, they'll take you upstairs and see dat you gets laid, all on
the house!"

The Englishman and Scotsman immediately shout down the Newfie's claims,
but  he swears every word is true.

"Well," said the Englishman, still suspicious. "Did this actually happen
to  you?"

Not me meself, personally, no," admitted the Newf. "But it did happen to
me sister quite a few times."