@UncleDolan:

Install a keylogger on the pc without him knowing and see what comes up.

that is a criminal offense in most of the civilized world.
the lengths people go to avoid talking to each other, geez.

Not really,especially if it's a shared PC.
And it's not about talking,it's about being sure that you're not ruining a relationship with paranoia and that you have good cause.
After all,the OP didn't report what the texts say.

Install a keylogger on the pc without him knowing and see what comes up.

that is a criminal offense in most of the civilized world.
the lengths people go to avoid talking to each other, geez.

Cheating is doing anything behind your partners back. If you feel uncomfortable about it now then you need to make a choice now. You cannot change people - accept him for who he is and if you can live with that then go.

I made the mistake of making my ex promise me but at the end of the day, noone really changes. You have to accept it or leave it.

Promises are quite often just promises..

it is not ok when they have sex with other people with telling you. if they were in love with you that would bring up the conversation to get your consent and your opinion.

I made the mistake of making my ex promise me but at the end of the day, noone really changes. You have to accept it or leave it.

Don't let others tell you what to do. It's your relationship, and your choice.
Only you can make it, and only you have to live with that decision.

Great point!

If you don't want to be involved with someone that is not monogamous, then it looks like you found the wrong guy.

If you can live with him being polyamorous, then keep going.

Don't let others tell you what to do. It's your relationship, and your choice.
Only you can make it, and only you have to live with that decision.

Oh and yeah, get tested.

It's a long story but, to summarize it: I catched him talking to his ex-fuck buddy saying stuff like let's meet, I was thinking about you kind of things then I talked to him about it. He denied, he sugar-coated it somehow but I was stuck in the idea and couldn't let go.So I dug deeper and realized there were lots of lies he told me before, he was just not a trustworthy person. But I was still loving him so I just didn't break up and I tried to forgive, really, but once you are betrayed it never just goes away. At least for me, it didn't.

I have been in your shoes and all I can say is,

Continue if you can forgive what he did and only if you are sure it won't happen again.
My advice is, people just dont change.This is what you have, someone who will go behind you and sleep with other men, if this is what you want yeah go with it.

But first, be sure about what happened. Dont give your relationship a death sentence without knowing everything, so basically just talk it out and be totally honest and upfront.

^ love this post.

but still, it's all about the agreement. polygamy is ok, if it's agreed by both (or more :P) parties.

if they both agreed to be in a committed relationship, than there is a matter of betrayed trust.

for the people seeking exclusive relationships, that can be harsh.

Such things.. should always be clarified from the beginning..

but still, it's all about the agreement. polygamy is ok, if it's agreed by both (or more :P) parties.

if they both agreed to be in a committed relationship, than there is a matter of betrayed trust.

for the people seeking exclusive relationships, that can be harsh.

For my generation, there is no cheating in relationship between 2 men. It's our history, all these years passed in the shadow : we have a different vision of sex. Sex and love are 2 things totally differents. You can have sex with a man you can't love, and you can love a man you don't have sex with him !

If my husband have sex with an other man and take pleasure, I am happy for him ! The Jealousy is SOOO heterosexual !!!

But, maybe you are young. Maybe you never know the time when just being gay is a fellony. Maybe for your generation, cheating is a fellony.

All I can say is that your answer is in your heart and your mind. My answer is : "there is no cheating" !

I ended up being in an open relationship and it was probably one of the hardest things to accept in my life.

It's not worth it. If you want monogamy then go look for it.

Cheating is not just cheating, it's lying and it's disrespectful. It's like spitting on your relationship. Not worth it. Leave him no matter how hard it is.

From personal experience if they've cheated once they tend to do it again, especially if they know you forgive them.

Not much help but ,my 5cent worth

Either way, be prepared for him to be angry at you for reading the messages.  I am not saying you were wrong (nor right) to read them, but he will likely be angry.

I guess if the dude decides to break up, that will be the least of his worries (his bf getting angry). As for the cheating, I would not get into a relationship if I wasn't completely sure that the guy is the only one I wanna be with. I don't usually give in to temptation and I expect the other person to be the same. If the person cheats on me, I wouldn't be able to live with the thought of him being with someone else and it would always come back to my mind, it would be unbearable. And as everyone said, if the guy didn't have the respect and consideration for you once before, he will never do and will keep cheating.

Now, on the other hand, let's be fair with the other guy as well. Maybe the guy hasn't cheated, just exchanged some texts. I wouldn't say anything to my boyfriend unless I was 100% sure he cheated. I would not tell him I read the texts but I would be totally onto him and most likely try to cacth him red handed.

Maybe the guy likes the feeling of being desired, which doesn't mean he will cheat.