HIV +

bandut

You got a thumbs down because HIV hysteria does a lot of damage and has a far reaching footprint. That being said I don't think the question was actually derrogative.

for my answer:

I am negative (conicidentally I last tested 2 about weeks ago).
My ex boyfriend (for a year) was positive.

Sex questions:
Oral sex
Dick -Yes and Nobody uses a condom
Anal/ Rimming - Yes and no condom
Anal Sex- Yes and condom only (I was always top)

We both saw Dr's and talked about the risks, they really aren't that high if you are sensible. He actually hadn't started meds yet either.
off the top of my head

Unprotected Bottoming with HIV+ top 1/70 Chance of transmission- This is the real danger
Unprotective Topping with HIV+ bottom 1/900 chance of transmission - Probabilty is higher if uncut
Oral- The Dr never outright said it couldn't happen but the chances are neglible. What she said that put me at ease "There hasn't beena documented case of HIV transmission through oral sex alone. (Not impossible but obviously, not going to happen)

Please double chck with your Dr's as I am going off memory.

In the end we did break up because of the status thing (not that I told him that; I didn't want him to feel bad). I just couldn't imagine using condoms for the rest of my life and testing like every month (not that I needed to).

Thanks for the info!

hhsq

I hope all those who said "never" so categorically become HIV+ someday to know how it feels to read and listen to so much ignorance. It's always so easy to say such things when it's not with you. The risk is always there, however. And it may be your turn tomorrow. Being conscious and kind has never done any harm.

MeatHook

Some of these dumb replies make me think we've slipped back 30+ years. Back then, the hysterical overreaction to HIV while still ridiculous was at least in small part mitigated by how little we know about how the virus spreads, and the arguments about whether HIV was the true cause of AIDS.

These days, we know in great detail how the virus works, we know conclusively that it is responsible for AIDS and we have huge amounts of data about the transmission risk of any activity you can dream up. We also have supplementary caveats, as have been mentioned, about risk enhancers like compromise to the integrity of the inside of the mouth and the like.

Those who throw their hands up in horror at the thought of having sex with someone with HIV really should get expert advice and get the idea of risk into perspective.

The key word when we describe people with HIV, isn't "HIV", it's "people". Perpetuating discrimination against them helps nobody and damages all of us.

I was sucking cock before HIV was known to be a problem. I sucked cock all through the HIV epidemic and I'm still sucking cock now - no plans to stop doing that any time soon. I've often sucked guys who I know to be positive, I'm sure I've often sucked positive guys whose status I didn't know. I've been careful and sensible and as of a few months ago, I'm still HIV negative.

Panic and hysterics over this well understood and easily protected from virus aren't justified any more. Get a grip, educate yourself and make a personal choice based on facts, not fears. Whatever that choice is, don't come out with unsupported statements about risk that just feed the prejudice of those who delight in having a group to point the finger at.

Bear in mind when researching that you can easily find articles online that clearly state that lemon juice cures AIDS, that it's caused by exposure to anything from cosmic rays to fairy dust, or that it can be contracted from being within 100m of someone who knows someone who has it. Finding it on the net doesn't mean it's true. find what the balance of research is saying, understand the statistical significance of those results then make a decision based on the balance of a number of properly designed and executed studies.

spam17

@MeatHook:

Some of these dumb replies make me think we've slipped back 30+ years. Back then, the hysterical overreaction to HIV while still ridiculous was at least in small part mitigated by how little we know about how the virus spreads, and the arguments about whether HIV was the true cause of AIDS.

These days, we know in great detail how the virus works, we know conclusively that it is responsible for AIDS and we have huge amounts of data about the transmission risk of any activity you can dream up. We also have supplementary caveats, as have been mentioned, about risk enhancers like compromise to the integrity of the inside of the mouth and the like.

Those who throw their hands up in horror at the thought of having sex with someone with HIV really should get expert advice and get the idea of risk into perspective.

The key word when we describe people with HIV, isn't "HIV", it's "people". Perpetuating discrimination against them helps nobody and damages all of us.

I was sucking cock before HIV was known to be a problem. I sucked cock all through the HIV epidemic and I'm still sucking cock now - no plans to stop doing that any time soon. I've often sucked guys who I know to be positive, I'm sure I've often sucked positive guys whose status I didn't know. I've been careful and sensible and as of a few months ago, I'm still HIV negative.

Panic and hysterics over this well understood and easily protected from virus aren't justified any more. Get a grip, educate yourself and make a personal choice based on facts, not fears. Whatever that choice is, don't come out with unsupported statements about risk that just feed the prejudice of those who delight in having a group to point the finger at.

Bear in mind when researching that you can easily find articles online that clearly state that lemon juice cures AIDS, that it's caused by exposure to anything from cosmic rays to fairy dust, or that it can be contracted from being within 100m of someone who knows someone who has it. Finding it on the net doesn't mean it's true. find what the balance of research is saying, understand the statistical significance of those results then make a decision based on the balance of a number of properly designed and executed studies.

HIV-AIDS stil sounds so scary..

:afr:

beachbro

I'm really not sure, if I would. Never had to make that decision. Never had to suck someone whom i KNEW was HIV+, because maybe I have done it and didn't know.

However, even though knowing a lot about the virus, forms of infection, etc it would definitely be something that I would have to think about and consider. Not saying I would, not saying I wouldn't. But it wouldn't be something I'd go for without thinking.

Now I get really annoyed by those politically correct idiots, who say it's ignorant not to suck a dick of an HIV+, because the risk is way too low, and go on and on saying that this is what's wrong with society, and is the cause why HIV+ people are discriminated bla bla bla. Everybody has the right to make a choice. Whether this choice is based on misinformation or not, it's still their choice. You have the right to choose whoever you suck the dick of, based on whatever criteria you choose to. People don't don't realize that by not respecting other people's choices, they are acting exactly the same way they are fighting against.

MeatHook

@spam17:

HIV-AIDS stil sounds so scary..

:afr:

It's easy these days to say 'Oh, we have effective treatments so HIV & AIDS is nothing to worry about'. It still kills people - it is scary! Not everyone has access to the treatments, the treatments aren't effective for everyone, and even for someone who is HIV positive and responds well to the treatment, they still have a chronic disease.

It's important though that if we are scared of HIV & AIDS, we're informed and scared. Knowledge and understanding of how the virus is transmitted lets us put fear into perspective, and make rational fact based decisions about or activity.

danijelr15

From what I'm reading here, once you're positive you should never have sex or any kind of intimate relationship for the rest of your life $:-\$

seaguy11

I would ask him if he was undetectable and if so I would, especially if I was on PrEP, in which case I would have bareback sex with him.

spam17

@MeatHook:

@spam17:

HIV-AIDS stil sounds so scary..

:afr:

It's easy these days to say 'Oh, we have effective treatments so HIV & AIDS is nothing to worry about'. It still kills people - it is scary! Not everyone has access to the treatments, the treatments aren't effective for everyone, and even for someone who is HIV positive and responds well to the treatment, they still have a chronic disease.

It's important though that if we are scared of HIV & AIDS, we're informed and scared. Knowledge and understanding of how the virus is transmitted lets us put fear into perspective, and make rational fact based decisions about or activity.

I totally agree!

indybr05

on prep, maybe, and only if the guys viral load was undetectable

hawaiibart

Not a very high risk activity actually. As long as I don't have any open sores in my mouth I'd gladly.

acakbenak

I'm negative, and my boyfriend is HIV+.
Before we started the relationship, we did check our statuses and both came back negative.
We did not use protection at all after that. I (always) swallowed his cum and I always cum inside him.

The following month, he had to go through a full medical check up for his work. His result came back positive.

We've been together for a year, and I still suck his dick without condom.
I checked regularly, every 90 days, and I am still negative.

To be safe, as recommended by our doctor and by the staff at a testing center in Sydney, we figured out safety measures: I suck his dick until he gets hard without condom first, and we will continue with condom – although they confirmed that swallowing has a very minimum risk of HIV contraction.

When it comes to anal sex, we always use protection, now. It felt weird at first -- I lost my erection every now and then, because I was so used to barebacking -- but it gets better. Our doctor recommended to apply lubricants to my dick before I put the condom on.

However, it all depends on ourselves. I mean, if it is a one night stand, I would make sure of his status and I would take more precautions. I would still do all, with protection.

We are in a monogamous-love-based-long-term-relationship, so you might see it as a different case.

mancvso

Sure, there's less risk with someone on meds. Maybe I have already without knowing.

spam17

@acakbenak:

I'm negative, and my boyfriend is HIV+.
Before we started the relationship, we did check our statuses and both came back negative.
We did not use protection at all after that. I (always) swallowed his cum and I always cum inside him.

The following month, he had to go through a full medical check up for his work. His result came back positive.

We've been together for a year, and I still suck his dick without condom.
I checked regularly, every 90 days, and I am still negative.

To be safe, as recommended by our doctor and by the staff at a testing center in Sydney, we figured out safety measures: I suck his dick until he gets hard without condom first, and we will continue with condom – although they confirmed that swallowing has a very minimum risk of HIV contraction.

When it comes to anal sex, we always use protection, now. It felt weird at first -- I lost my erection every now and then, because I was so used to barebacking -- but it gets better. Our doctor recommended to apply lubricants to my dick before I put the condom on.

However, it all depends on ourselves. I mean, if it is a one night stand, I would make sure of his status and I would take more precautions. I would still do all, with protection.

We are in a monogamous-love-based-long-term-relationship, so you might see it as a different case.

I got confused.. You are negative but your boyfriend isn't?

I'm afraid that in this case you should be more protective towards yourself..

$:-\$

gearpigdc

First post ever, saw the topic and was curious what the torrent porn crowd had to say… As someone who's been HIV+ for 26 years (omg, I'm 53 now...how'd that happen?), and who's now an RN working in HIV treatment, I'm impressed with people's thoughtful and I hope honest posts (though, no offense intended, what's up with the spit out and eat toothpaste plan? if it "worked," it was probably a coincidence. I'd go for PEP (the old PREP, different and also very effective if started right away). Cuz toothpaste doesn't kill HIV and you might injure yourself or that nice HIV+ guy you just blew in all the commotion....)

Anyway...since being told in 1990 I had 2 years left at best, I somehow (good doctors, good family and friends, insurance, and some good luck) am still here and still pretty healthy. But if you can stay negative, do it. The meds aren't a cure, most have some icky side effects, you have to remember to take them...

But denying this nice HIV+ guy (in my story, he's nice) a blowjob isn't likely to be effective or enough to keep you negative.

Disclaimer: I have tons of flaws, or at least a fair share. But I am proud of these strengths: I always disclose, always use condoms for fucking (and have had to miss out on situations where that doesn't work for the other guy(s), sometimes very reluctantly, but if I made safer sex exceptions it'd get too confusing and weird for me), and know I've never given anyone HIV.

But like most guys, I have lied to get laid: "No, Kylie Minogue's great and not at all a distraction, even if you start singing along." (sorry, not that funny a person, but hopefully you can see where I'm going) - so to the guys who would only suck dick if the HIV+ guy had an undetectable viral load, or would only blow a guy who's HIV-...think again, please. My colleagues and I spend a huge amount of time (gladly, I'm not complaining) counseling men whose partner was either unaware or untruthful, so along with a surprise serious health challenge, they also have to deal with betrayal.

Quoting my boss: "being in love is a HUGE risk factor for getting HIV." That and fear and denial are why we still have new cases. I'd rather find a new line off work; no one working in HIV wants you as a new patient...and when you get middle aged, don't worry, you'll get to see doctors and nurses plenty.

Apologies for long-windedness, thanks again for reading and if you posted or will post, thanks cuz many of you made me think - which isn't why I logged on, but is a good thing.

acakbenak

I got confused.. You are negative but your boyfriend isn't?

I'm afraid that in this case you should be more protective towards yourself..

$:-\$

Yes, I am negative and my boyfriend is not.
He is on medication already, and I am aware that there are risks for me to get HIV from him.

Since we knew his status, we always do safe sex. We also gather more information on HIV/AIDS from every source there is, and from every expert we could find. We also have several friends who are positive or in a relationship with a positive partner.

Our relationship does involve sex, a lot of them, and also involve a lot of other things aside of sex.

JACK777

One of my best friends told me that he was positive and I do not know how to comfort him or make things better. He doesn't want anyone to know and even though he has safe sex ( and a lot of it) I do not know how to ask him to take better care of himself. Infact I am so scared of getting infected I have stopped having sex altogether.

cannonmc

Well I hope we see you more often, gearpigdc.

That, to me, is one of the more rational responses I've read.

bandut

@cannonmc:

Well I hope we see you more often, gearpigdc.

That, to me, is one of the more rational responses I've read.

Totally agree.

spam17

@I:

@acakbenak:

I'm negative, and my boyfriend is HIV+.
Before we started the relationship, we did check our statuses and both came back negative.
We did not use protection at all after that. I (always) swallowed his cum and I always cum inside him.

The following month, he had to go through a full medical check up for his work. His result came back positive.

We've been together for a year, and I still suck his dick without condom.
I checked regularly, every 90 days, and I am still negative.

To be safe, as recommended by our doctor and by the staff at a testing center in Sydney, we figured out safety measures: I suck his dick until he gets hard without condom first, and we will continue with condom – although they confirmed that swallowing has a very minimum risk of HIV contraction.

When it comes to anal sex, we always use protection, now. It felt weird at first -- I lost my erection every now and then, because I was so used to barebacking -- but it gets better. Our doctor recommended to apply lubricants to my dick before I put the condom on.

However, it all depends on ourselves. I mean, if it is a one night stand, I would make sure of his status and I would take more precautions. I would still do all, with protection.

We are in a monogamous-love-based-long-term-relationship, so you might see it as a different case.

I got confused.. You are negative but your boyfriend isn't?

I'm afraid that in this case you should be more protective towards yourself..

$:-\$

@acakbenak:

Yes, I am negative and my boyfriend is not.
He is on medication already, and I am aware that there are risks for me to get HIV from him.

Since we knew his status, we always do safe sex. We also gather more information on HIV/AIDS from every source there is, and from every expert we could find. We also have several friends who are positive or in a relationship with a positive partner.

Our relationship does involve sex, a lot of them, and also involve a lot of other things aside of sex.

Have you ever thought that 'things' could change?

Will you be or are you prepared for such an issue?