unfortunately, I have to agree that the gay scene is not so friendly and it seems almost a dream to meet anyone new after so long in a relationship - because I'm not young or thin and have imperfections.  I also don't dress trendily or feel like gossiping about other people's clothes

I wish there was a gay hippy commune to run away to and live the simple life, but here in the city is chaotic and stressful

I cling to the idea that we are all someone else's "cup of tea".. pretty much based on the reasoning that I have a taste in men that other people would probably find gross - so here's hoping someone else out there has the same ideation and wants some of me hehe

even though Turkey ,  most people don't know this gay fact , decriminalised homosexuality in 1858 ,before any other nation on this planet
life is hard being gay in turkey and its two fold , from the religious and from gays themselves
the Turkish mentality of gay's is radically different to say my nation of birth Australia or the UK USA etc , you are seen as still a" man" if you only Top whereas if you bottom you are seen pretty much seen  as a female , sort of akin to the fa'afafine of polynesia.
and treated with disrespect.

and then there is putting up with that stupid religion Islam , but i wont  go there.
my friend , get out of Turkey , sure it the country of my heritage , and i love to visit and speak the language of my culture , but i know that i can come back home and not have to worry if im going to be killed for being who i am.

my mum however ..LOL is constantly on my back to find a nice Turkish or Jewish boyfriend cause its closer to my culture ….sigh Turkish mums

Even if you're just looking for sex or hook-ups.

It is true that, without a doubt, you are someone's pinnacle of beauty.

Every single person is someone's idea of a dream come true.

I used to not think this…but when I thought about it, I was making judgements based on pretty superficial qualities and trends in the first place rather than analysing the data logically.

My first experience at a major BDSM gathering taught me otherwise, but it's not just a kink thing, though I tend to find that kinkier people tend to have a broader range of their ideas of attractiveness.

Also, a lot of people -- not all, but I'd say probably most -- tend to have different ideas of attractiveness as they grow older. They're not hormone-addled, sex isn't as mysterious and alluring and all-encompassing, and personality and other traits are more important, as well as appealing on a number of levels.

But no matter what, you can always guarantee: there are always going to be people out there who find you attractive more than just about anyone else on earth. No matter how down on yourself you are, you are someone's ideal.

In a more thorough response, here are few things:

Serious Relationships: Quality over quantity. I'm a gay man of 22 that has been with only 1 man, but we separated because of differences. He had redeeming qualities though: In his eyes, I was the hottest, best boyfriend he ever had. I thought he was super cute too. He also helped me come out of the closet, and for that, I am grateful. We broke up last December, and do I feel lonely? Yes. But will I ever settle for someone that doesn't think I'm the hottest, best boyfriend he's ever had, and I feel the same? No. I will never settle, because it will never work out. Find someone that you think is perfect, sees you the same way, and you two will have a full life and enjoy each other's company. Anything less than that is not worth your time, no matter how hard the loneliness hurts. Anything less will hurt you more.

Physical Appearances: We don't choose who we love. Looks are important to initial intrigue, in my opinion. Because the concept of beauty is so subjective, it is consequently not superficial. People have defined the desire of a beautiful appearance as superficial. I for example am drawn exclusively to chubby guys. I can't have the same passion with a slim or muscular guy because they don't make me feel the same. It's like me trying to explain why I'm gay to begin with, I can't, and I can't force myself to love someone I don't. The majority consider fatness to be a turn off, so when there's a chubby guy that is proud his size, it's literally the most attractive thing in my eyes, to know he loves himself. If you don't feel comfortable in your own skin, then do whatever it takes to be comfortable. Lose weight, get piercings, grow a beard, shave your beard, wear these clothes, wear those clothes. Being hot is all about confidence.

The Gay Community: Do what makes you happy. There was a time I hated on the gay community, but now I believe everyone should just be themselves and do what makes them happy. Here are some things have helped me come to terms with being gay: homosexuals will always be a minority, and heterosexuals will always be a majority. With that in mind, know that the odds of gay relationships are much slimmer because there are fewer of us. Also, men tend to have quite the sex drive. Put two of them together with no fear of pregnancy, and it starts to make sense why some like to sleep around more than others. Does that mean you have to like it too? Absolutely not. There is nothing wrong with those that sleep around, and those that don't. It's about having an understanding with the other person, because we all want different things.

Everyone has different tastes.  I think being funny and nice is more important than how someone looks.

True, a good person goes a longer way than someone with a pretty face. "Unattractive" doesn't always refer to the physical appearance of someone. I find people attractive as I learn their kindness, sense of humor, passion, etc.

I'm ugly, but not THAT ugly! I have had two compliments on my looks twice before in my life. But weird enough, both were by guys who were passing through. One in bicycle and another in a bus, so there was no way I could have interacted with them. Other than that, no one ever compliments my looks, except aunts or something like that.

In my case, I have to add I am schizophrenic and take meds to keep me controlled. Which makes a mess of life, cause I was forbidden to work, so I don't even frequent other people. I stay at home all day long. Count your blessings, maybe those guys who look at you in the street, are gay and found you attractive. So just keep looking at them, or if they passed by, turn your head to see if they're still looking  :afr:

Good luck on your quest for love! (and your english is really good!)

gaygaye, I think that many gay men across the world share your experience. Rudeness, insensitivity, extreme superficiality, very high standards…...

It is interesting that you're from Turkiye. Where in Turkiye do you live? Where did you learn to speak in English?

I learnt it from gay porns Just kidding. I got english courses before university. I live in Izmir. It's more secular and open minded rather than other cities but that doesn't help me about my personal life at all.

It is interesting that you're from Turkiye. Where in Turkiye do you live? Where did you learn to speak in English?

You seem like a really nice guy. Keep an open mind and look in the right places - don't know what they are in Turkey. But hang in there - you will find your Mr. Right soon.

Thank you for your positive words. I don't know really where they are. But I know most gays use hornet and twitter which I never used. Maybe they are out of reach just like me.

You seem like a really nice guy. Keep an open mind and look in the right places - don't know what they are in Turkey. But hang in there - you will find your Mr. Right soon.

@gaygaye:

Interesting but lately I began to notice while I'm roaming in the streets some men lay their eyes on me passing by me. I don't know why and I don't know why that doesn't work on the net.

Because the men like what they see  :cheesy2:

I think they are looking to my beard (Most women look other women too, that doesn't mean they are lesbians), otherwise if they are looking at me because of they like me, that doesn't help me at all lol. Also lots of people look at their smart phones while they are walking. They don't look around, they don't see the world, I cannot see their eyes, that's already sad.

Interesting but lately I began to notice while I'm roaming in the streets some men lay their eyes on me passing by me. I don't know why and I don't know why that doesn't work on the net.

Because the men like what they see  :cheesy2:

I'm good-looking and stay fit.

Well, good for you.
OP has serious problems and the courage to share them but at least we now know that you're good-looking… ::)

I hope so, but my expectations are not high. I care myself more rather than before, and they say I have a style but I don't know. I'm lack of passion and faith, I think. And it is not a easy thing to build a serious relationship in a conservative country with full of homophobic people. It is not a rare thing that some homosexuals are getting married to a woman to accomodate themselves into the society.

By the way, I ran across an Italian's facebook account yesterday and searched through his friend list. There were about 5000 people, nearly all of them was male and muscular, bearded guys who follow each other. All of them look same, their profiles are only full of narcissistic selfies and interiors which consist of rich, extravagant houses or places. I could count only a couple of handsome guys but hey, I think those self-obsessed guys think they are god. It is unbelieveable these people live on Earth. It was first for me. Don't offense but Italian guys are not so handsome (even some of them have cosmetic surgery and botox) but if I coincidentally met one of these guys, I'm sure they would ignore me instantly (as I would ignore them lol). What I understood from these profiles is they worship only EXTREME manliness. Oh, I'm still in shock, is this a porn nightmare?

Funny thing is, an italian friend told me those self-obsessed guys are called "lesbians" in the italian community^^
Because they only sleep with guys who look like themselves. And yes, stay away from narcisstic assholes.

And I know some turkish gays, but as everywhere it is a matter of the place you live, if it is a big city etc.
I can only again say, stay strong and learn to love yourself first.

By the way, I ran across an Italian's facebook account yesterday and searched through his friend list. There were about 5000 people, nearly all of them was male and muscular, bearded guys who follow each other. All of them look same, their profiles are only full of narcissistic selfies and interiors which consist of rich, extravagant houses or places. I could count only a couple of handsome guys but hey, I think those self-obsessed guys think they are god. It is unbelieveable these people live on Earth. It was first for me. Don't offense but Italian guys are not so handsome (even some of them have cosmetic surgery and botox) but if I coincidentally met one of these guys, I'm sure they would ignore me instantly (as I would ignore them lol). What I understood from these profiles is they worship only EXTREME manliness. Oh, I'm still in shock, is this a porn nightmare?

See, it's not how other people see you, it's how you see yourself. Trust me. I personally don't try to be the most handsome guy in the world with the greatest body. That's no guarantee you'll get a quality man. What I do is try to be a beautiful person inside and out. I'm compassionate with people, i try to be compassionate to myself and I take care of myself physically. I focus on health moreso than trying to impress people. I meet many more guys now than ever before, but as GabrielK said "most men are idiots." LOL 

Hang in there buddy, it's possible for you. You're worthy of it.

Had to twist my personality around just to try to meet a standard, and it ends up being a one-time thing.
Makes me want to vomit.