I know people in open relationships and they never talk about their "outside" lives with each other.

:true: as they say "What you don't know, won't hurt you"

It's possible if you're very honest and willing to be hurt a few times. It can be very rewarding too - but most people just can't manage it.

Totally agree….

The only conditions we had was that we wanted to know where and when it was happening, if we met other people. Mostly for security reasons than anything. You can never be too safe you know?

In all that time though, I have received 2 blowjobs and he went and sucked one dick. We discovered pretty fast that any sexual interactions with other people just weren't enjoyable. We're one of those couples that like to be alone together. You know? We're pretty introverted, our social groups are small, and sex just isnt our priority.

We still consider ours an open relationship, but neither of us use it. We're still very open to threesomes though and are currently looking for a sexy (american) football player to have some fun with. I guess only time will tell though.

In my experience more often than not when you scratch the surface of an "open relationship" it's usually one partner wanting it more than the other, or doing it more than the other and the other one more going along with it.

One thing for sure, if you want any relationship to work, you both must be on the same page when it comes to monogamy. If either is making a "compromise" here, the relationship is doomed.

If one really wants an open relationship, but compromises because of their desire to be with the other, he will eventually become resentful and unhappy and this festering will cause the relationship blows up.

If one wants to be with someone so badly that they swallow hard and accept an open relation, it is only a matter of time before what I think is a "natural" jealousy kicks in and things blow up. This person is the one more likely to find someone new, someone who shares his values.

I am going to assume here that 'honest' here is in regards to the relationship and the 'big issues' and not necessarily..uh, everything. Because even monogamous partnerships have small things they don't talk to their partners about. (although yes, some small things can pile up into huge unstoppable things)

From outside looking in, I can see that the chance are probably smaller just because of maths (it's harder to communicate effectively and intimately between 3 or more people as opposed to 2; not to mention the dynamics of each participants).

You also need not just you and your partner but the rest of the participants to be open and honest not just with you but with each other.

And when there is a need or desire that is addressed, the entire party also needs to be open, honest, but also good at communication, compromises, and conflict resolution.

And again, given that it's 3 or more participants, it's probably going to be harder than the typical monogamous relationship (though even this has its liars and cheaters, yes?)

But it's possible.

But I think what's often overlooked is emotional and communicational skills. Which most most don't have. This is an extremely complicated arrangement because of the values we are brought up with and just being human.

If you are with your partner because you are both kinky and love having adventurous, on the edge type sex, does either really want to know the intimate details of what the other is doing with an outside person or people?  How would you react if he said, "We can't have sex tonight. I'm still sore from the 20 man orgy I went to last night." (I didn't react too well when I heard this, lol.)

Being totally open and honest works for some couples.  For them, it is a way to allow them to stay together, while not forcing either party to give up anything they felt they need that they simply can't get from their partner.  I have experience in that scenario.  I have always been involved with kinky sex, but I was in a 7 year relationship with a decidedly vanilla, middle of the road type guy.  We were perfect for one another in every other aspect except our outlook on sex.  Rather than rule things out completely, we gave it a shot. He granted me my freedom to do what I like, and he would do the same, but if we did anything, we shared all the details with one another.

That was how he realized that what I liked didn't necessarily involve sex at all - more things like power, control, submission, domination, role play, and head games.  Sometimes I even invited him to come witness what I did. It took a while, maybe 5 years into our relationship, but he came around to wanting to try things with me - especially bondage.  Shortly after that, I had him begging me to tie him up, so he could be "allowed" to hear my stories.

In my case, being absolutely honest brought us to place we probably never would have gotten otherwise.

I think most people would rather not share their open relationship experiences with their partners, though.