9. Your friends call to ask how you've been, and you immediately scream, 'Get off my back, bitch!'

8. Your garbage can IS your 'in' box.

7. You wake up to discover your bed is on fire, but go back to sleep because you just don't care.

6. You have so much on your mind, you've forgotten how to pee.

5. Visions of the upcoming weekend help you make it through Monday.

4. You sleep more at work than at home.

3. You leave for a party and instinctively bring your ID badge.

2. You blasted your Daily Planner with a .357 Magnum a week ago, but still haven't been able to miss a meeting.

1. You think about how relaxing it would be if you were in jail right now.