I prefer bareback sex, but condoms until the cure to HIV is ubiquitous.

It doesn't spoil the mood to come to agreement on "raincoat or raw." To the contrary, it would spoil the mood if penetration started and the bottom said, "don't you dare put that in me without a a condom."

PrEP is 99.99% protective against HIV if taken daily. There are less than a hand full of cases where someone taking PrEP became infected with HIV.

Several of the most common STI's are treatable if caught early.

So I test regularly, take PrEP and bareback every time.

Overall I am as safe if not safer then condoms only.

I think, as with COVID-19, safety comes first, but what that safety IS may be different depending on where you live:

• I live in Florida, USA - I am on a drug class called PrEP (Pre-Exposure Prophylaxis) that makes sex with-or-without a condom safe from HIV (but not any other STD!). I can have bareback sex without worrying about contracting HIV... but we'd be foolish to ignore other STDs and focus solely on HIV! So there are times I have bareback sex, but mostly I use condoms to protect against those other STDs. Most importantly, though: I have ZERO worry about contracting HIV - regardless of whether we use a condom or not - and that's nice! Plus, my insurance pays 100% of the PrEP (because it's a preventative), so it's FREE to me!
• My cousin lives in a European country (I will leave it unnamed here) where PrEP isn't available (at least not for that use), so he doesn't HAVE the option to use PrEP - and thus condoms are his safest bet. Always! When he has bareback sex (which he admits to doing - though he professes "only on 3rd dates or later" [Really? he "dates"? - but I digress...] he gets worried - esp if the other guy disappears or reveals that he's been promiscuous...[are there Gay Guys who are single and who are NOT promiscuous? Just saying! LOL]
• My cousin-in-law [brother's wife's brother?] lives in Australia, but is already HIV+ and takes modern HIV drug therapy. He is "undetectable," as-is his husband [they were both HIV+ before they met - in fact, an HIV support group is how they met!]. They do not use condoms, even though they regularly have 3rds join them for sex. (No, I haven't joined them - I've never been to Australia, and they've never come here in the US...) They do not profess to have any worries about HIV (so long as they stay on their meds), nor do they say they worry about spreading HIV, as all the medical experts seem to agree that undetectable = untransmittable.

So, depending on your circumstances, safety first may mean mandatory use of condoms, or it may not...

In my mind, people on the HIV meds - whether HIV- on PrEP or HIV+ and undetectable - are the safest people to have sex with - WRT transmission of HIV, anyway...

People who are HIV- and not on PrEP should be using condoms because otherwise, they're putting their own health in the hands of the people they're having sex with (even if in a relationship!)

People who are HIV+ and are not taking meds (or are not undetectable yet) should also be using condoms, as otherwise they are endangering those other people - in what I PERSONALLY would consider a criminal way.

Would that life was full of easy answers... but that's not the Universe we live in, now, is it? This shit gets complicated... and it always does! We just do the best with what we know (so far)...

One final comment:

The COVID-19 mRNA vaccines are a DIRECT result of Moderna and Pfizer research looking into HIV vaccines. Now, HIV isn't a corona-virus, but the research having already been done, they didn't have a difficult time getting the technology "re-tuned" for COVID - and quickly!

This bodes well for future vaccines (esp. since the PREDICTED protection levels were in the 70% range, with a 50% range considered a "success" - and the 90+% rate achieved being astronomically above expectations!)... and it may yet bode well for an HIV vaccine.

Remember though: when we say something is a vaccine we are saying that it is something that triggers our own immune system into successfully fighting off the pathogen. You still have to have an immune system, which some HIV sufferers do not.

So, no panacea - no miracles - no cure-alls - but some early, and promising, steps into the next phase of our (humanity's) fight against disease.