<?xml version="1.0" encoding="UTF-8"?><rss xmlns:dc="http://purl.org/dc/elements/1.1/" xmlns:content="http://purl.org/rss/1.0/modules/content/" xmlns:atom="http://www.w3.org/2005/Atom" version="2.0"><channel><title><![CDATA[WHAT MEN WANT]]></title><description><![CDATA[<p dir="auto">PreviousNext<br />
More beer. More cheese. More sex.<br />
Vitamin fortified cigars.<br />
Public beer fountains.<br />
Kitty catapults.<br />
All day happy hour at a lesbian Hooters.<br />
Wet T-shirt Fridays.<br />
Replace NFL linebackers with genetically bred velociraptors.<br />
Rocket boots.<br />
Machine gun camp.<br />
NASA space shuttle races.<br />
Sledgehammer boxing.<br />
Girlfriend TiVO so you can pause, rewind, and delete arguments.<br />
Congressional pie fights.<br />
Government research grants to build the perfect chicken parmesan hero.<br />
More beer. More cheese. More sex.<br />
Tomahawk missile surf boards.<br />
Hot tub jury boxes.<br />
Nacho cheese lipstick.<br />
Personal midget-ninja chauffeurs.<br />
New TV shows: PBS' The BBQ Hour, Total Kung-Fu Live, and America's Funniest Farts.<br />
24-hour, on call UN negotiator for when you stumble home late, drunk, with lipstick stains on your collar.<br />
More beer. More cheese. More sex.<br />
Condoms that whistle, whir, and honk when used.<br />
Inflatable sex dolls who cook.<br />
Beef jerky business cards.<br />
Combination briefcase/pizza oven.<br />
National Make-Out with Cheerleaders Day.<br />
Art museums dedicated to framing copy-machine faxes of asses.<br />
Robot gloves for crushing kegs of beer.<br />
Karaoke "ejector" stages.<br />
Opera glasses that broadcast ESPN.<br />
The Astronaut Reserves.<br />
Porno without all the "talking" filler.<br />
Head banging elevated to "fine art".<br />
All money spent on women tax deductible!<br />
Free BBQ buffet at the DMV.<br />
Passports to Margaritaville.<br />
The ability to telepathically force anyone to belch on the spot.<br />
One "Get Out of the Doghouse" card.</p>
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