I probably was aware of the terms homo and fag and faggot before I knew what it meant, but I knew that it was the worst thing to call somebody.  When I did find out that there was such a thing as homosexuality and gays, like you, it was equated with being feminine and wanting to dress like a woman and wear makeup and be weak and all that crap.

When I got to an age where I was beating off and fantasizing, it was always other guys that I was fantasizing about and it wouldn't be much longer that gym class involved undressing and showers and I was totally turned on by the other naked guys and fantasized about the ones that turned me on most, about sucking their dicks or making them suck mine.  I'd heard that sometimes guys go through a "phase" and that's what I told myself for a while.  Because whatever else, I wasn't one of "those" and also, maybe unlike you, I was a sissy and more and more I'd be taunted with being a fag and it couldn't be for those fucking assholes to be right.  But by the middle years of highschool and beating of countless times a day, I never once fantasized about sex with a girl.  And in trying to be "honest" with myself I must be bisexual and once I got through this phase I'd probably start being more interested in girls.  By my senior year I'd told a very few friends that I was bi and I hung out with a kind of alt-geek kind of crowd so it was sort of cool.

And I had an involvement with a girl and in wanting an open and honest relationship I told her.  After graduating, we both hopped the Greyhound and ended up in Seattle.  We were together another year and a half and I remained monogamous and faithful to her to the end.  But she was able to see the writing on the wall before I could even admit it to myself- because I still carried the beliefs of the suburban punk life I'd grown up in and I still didn't want to wear dresses and panties  and walk with a flounce and limp wrist.  And I didn't want to be one of "those." And I wanted to be faithful to my girlfriend.  But once she left, it was time to be honest with myself, really honest this time and the fact was, though I wasn't one of "those" I was one of them.  I was gay. I was sexually interested only in other men.  I was completely uninterested in women.  Shortly after that I came out.  When I did, I did it totally: I told my now ex-girlfriend that she was right, I told all of our friends we had in common; I told the people in my apartment building that I was on a "hey-how's it going'" basis; I asked my boss if I could talk to him then told everyone I worked with.  Finally I called home and told my parents.

I was lucky- or whatever's the right word- most of my friends were ok with it, didn't have any trouble with work, my Mom and stepdad were pretty sure of it anyways and my Dad asked if I thought I'd always be this way and when I said yes he told me that whatever I was he just wanted the best for me.  But there were friends that wouldn't have anything to do with me anymore and some people treated me a little differently.  In coming into contact with new people through work or where I lived or through my friends I'd run into folks who wouldn't give me the time of day because I was queer.  Also, I've known a lot of other gay men whose parents and friends weren't accepting.  But I've never had to lead a double-life since, I've never had to live in fear of someone finding out my terrible secret, and I didn't end up marrying a girl and having children and then years later come out and unravel the lives of those others.

So, if only men turn you on- brother- you're gay.  But that doesn't have anything to do with how masculine or feminine you are.  And if you are gay but leading people- friends especially- into thinking you're something else is lying.  Like I said, I don't know what your exact situation is, and maybe coming out isn't something you can do right now, but you do have to come out and you need to put yourself on a path where you'll be in a place and situation where you can do that from.  Go to the city- not just to hook up with guys (and there is that!) but to hang out in some gay areas, make some friends- or do it online for now- that you can hang out with… check for jobs and how much it's gonna cost to get an apartment or share a place with one or some of your new friends.  Build a support of sorts.  Because some of your friends are gonna drop you cold and I don't know what your parents are like- they might turn their backs on you.  But even so, hopefully they'll come to terms with it and friends that don't realize that you are still exactly the same person you were the moment and all the time before breaking the news are probably not all that great of people to have as friends.  And yes- people will talk about you- but people are already talking about you about something or other- people are always coming up with gossip about other people.  It will be hard for a little while, but in the meantime you can live without being afraid that someone will find out and you'll meet more gay people and find new friends and be able to better find out who you are.  Be a man.  Be independent.  Be free.

One advice is, stop thinking about what you think you must feel or be. And start accepting your feelings as yours as you experiment, don't judge them, don't think they will affect or limit your future. When there is something you would like to achieve, you will a way regardless of you having a husband or a wife.

I never assumed that a guy who likes straight porn is straight, though i believe that only straight guys will be turned on by female homosexual (or lesbian) porn. As a matter of fact, guys sometimes get turned on by girls kissing.

Only gay or bisexual guys will be turned on by gay porn, i think. but that's just my opinion.

I think I mentioned in my other post that i think naked girls are icky - sexually anyway. but that's just me.

Acceptance is weird in our culture. most of the time, people can talk about gay actors/actresses, gay talk show hosts, gay hairdressers, gay dance or fitness instructors without batting an eyelash. But when you talk about other people, ordinary folk who are gay, sometimes they can't accept it (especially when too close to home.) I actually grew up in a household where making fun of gay people was originally okay. much more in school where i was in a boy's school (and daaaaaaaang that was difficult since the guys around me were gorgeous, to say the least).

Having said that, yes, my "first" time was weird, but at least the guy's still my friend. he pokes fun at me sometimes about my first time. i felt so guilty afterwards (must be my religious upbringing) but after awhile i came to terms with my orientation. and i was a late bloomer (i was 27).

But there's always someone u trust will understand better (my case…). So after u star telling a few close friends, things start getting easier.

Real trick comes to telling your mom/dad. I never had any girlfriends or anything, so i think my mom was like.. suspicious.. and reacted better than i thought.

U dont necessarily have to come out, as long as youre not living a lie =/

Hello.

Don't be ashamed if you like men.

TBH most peoples first times start with them being virgins.  People who are different are generally treated like garbage.  Please don't let the ignorance of others scare you or get into your mental space.

I understand your confused, but assuming that gay=effeminate is incorrect.  Also to equate femininity as being not normal is not ok either.  To be normal means that you are alive.  That's it, because normalcy is a vague term.  I will agree with what the others say, that you should really just discover yourself.  It sounds that you are using societal views and stereotypes to define what your feeling.  That will only make it harder, because in the end only you know who you truly are and what you want.  Do not use grindr…not when your not sure about yourself.  yes you might meet friends, but that site is first and foremost for hooking up, dating and friendships...in that order.  Try finding lgbt friendly places, groups or events.  Like PFLAG, Straight and Gay Alliences, etc.  Be discreet if your not sure, by that i mean events outside of your town, if possible, or google(for lack of better input) and connect with a forum.  There is so much information out there in health clinics and online, just take it at your own pace.

Guilt is common, people feel guilty when there is nothing to be guilty about.  We've all been lied to that being gay is immoral.  it's understandable to feel guilty when that has been repeated to us since childhood.  Never feel guilty for who you are or what you like(except murder and such).  Make the effort not to make it so sexual.  Attraction is not all sexual...you mak like the way a guy smiles, how he smells.  Try not to look at how you feel about whatever gender you feel attracted to solely through sex.  its adding to the confusion.  it's important to feel your way through what you're feeling, but test it on different levels, not just sexual.  News flash, anybody can cum to any porn.  Your hand and imagination is providing the stimulus, that the porn isn't providing, but it sounds like you have an idea anyway.

That guy is still a jerk...there are nice jerks.  it sucks you lost it to someone, who didn't realize that you are more than a one night stand.  it wasn't wrong or a mistake, it was a learning experience.  This is why grindr is not the best thing.

I still never had sex with a girl. And i'm so confused because i'm not sure if i'm bissexual or if i'm just a gay trying to have the excuse "i like girls too".--Take time to really ask yourself what is it that you want.-

I'm not sure if my attraction for girls is legitimate, but i know that i don't imagine myself being an open gay. I would love to have a wife, and children. It's a dream for me, and i never liked the idea or felt any desire in stay in a relationship with a man.----I used to have this thought, because society both straight and gay, doesn't really show the lgbt community as capable of being in monogamous relationships.  if they do its characterized for comedic effect, not always the case, please keeo that in mind.  you can be gay and have children...honestly, it is a very real reality.

please do not think like that...please do not.  As some of these guys have suggested and i will repeat.  Discover yourself.  We can't tell you what you should be, but you can't look and men or women through a heteronormative lense.  Meaning looking at this siotuation soley on sexual attraction, of who is the man and who is the woman.  But i'm not qualified to give advice, that will lend to a great discovery.

One thing i can say, never hide yourself.  you can live only for yourself.  we can't tell you how to live.  If you still need to be discreet do it for yourself, but, it's so much better and easier living proudly.  I understand if you're worried about what your family might think or do...find a way to know who you are until you're ready.

Here, one link, i hope they help.  Much love
http://lesbianlife.about.com/od/comingoutadvice/a/ConfusedTeen.htm

what Roro said. great advice!

Don't be ashamed if you like men.

TBH most peoples first times start with them being virgins.  People who are different are generally treated like garbage.  Please don't let the ignorance of others scare you or get into your mental space.

I understand your confused, but assuming that gay=effeminate is incorrect.  Also to equate femininity as being not normal is not ok either.  To be normal means that you are alive.  That's it, because normalcy is a vague term.  I will agree with what the others say, that you should really just discover yourself.  It sounds that you are using societal views and stereotypes to define what your feeling.  That will only make it harder, because in the end only you know who you truly are and what you want.  Do not use grindr…not when your not sure about yourself.  yes you might meet friends, but that site is first and foremost for hooking up, dating and friendships...in that order.  Try finding lgbt friendly places, groups or events.  Like PFLAG, Straight and Gay Alliences, etc.  Be discreet if your not sure, by that i mean events outside of your town, if possible, or google(for lack of better input) and connect with a forum.  There is so much information out there in health clinics and online, just take it at your own pace.

Guilt is common, people feel guilty when there is nothing to be guilty about.  We've all been lied to that being gay is immoral.  it's understandable to feel guilty when that has been repeated to us since childhood.  Never feel guilty for who you are or what you like(except murder and such).  Make the effort not to make it so sexual.  Attraction is not all sexual...you mak like the way a guy smiles, how he smells.  Try not to look at how you feel about whatever gender you feel attracted to solely through sex.  its adding to the confusion.  it's important to feel your way through what you're feeling, but test it on different levels, not just sexual.  News flash, anybody can cum to any porn.  Your hand and imagination is providing the stimulus, that the porn isn't providing, but it sounds like you have an idea anyway.

That guy is still a jerk...there are nice jerks.  it sucks you lost it to someone, who didn't realize that you are more than a one night stand.  it wasn't wrong or a mistake, it was a learning experience.  This is why grindr is not the best thing.

I still never had sex with a girl. And i'm so confused because i'm not sure if i'm bissexual or if i'm just a gay trying to have the excuse "i like girls too".--Take time to really ask yourself what is it that you want.-

I'm not sure if my attraction for girls is legitimate, but i know that i don't imagine myself being an open gay. I would love to have a wife, and children. It's a dream for me, and i never liked the idea or felt any desire in stay in a relationship with a man.----I used to have this thought, because society both straight and gay, doesn't really show the lgbt community as capable of being in monogamous relationships.  if they do its characterized for comedic effect, not always the case, please keeo that in mind.  you can be gay and have children...honestly, it is a very real reality.

please do not think like that...please do not.  As some of these guys have suggested and i will repeat.  Discover yourself.  We can't tell you what you should be, but you can't look and men or women through a heteronormative lense.  Meaning looking at this siotuation soley on sexual attraction, of who is the man and who is the woman.  But i'm not qualified to give advice, that will lend to a great discovery.

One thing i can say, never hide yourself.  you can live only for yourself.  we can't tell you how to live.  If you still need to be discreet do it for yourself, but, it's so much better and easier living proudly.  I understand if you're worried about what your family might think or do...find a way to know who you are until you're ready.

Here, one link, i hope they help.  Much love
http://lesbianlife.about.com/od/comingoutadvice/a/ConfusedTeen.htm

The very first time is always special - even the worst first time will be in your mind years later… but this happens as well for the first kiss, like it is very special, when you drive with your first bike, without support wheels. You will experience an enormous amount of "very special first time events" in your life... bad ... and hopefully much, much more good ones. Please enjoy them all, because each event will direct your life. If you had a bad time, using the black door, you will mostly choose a red door the next time and if you enjoyed using a red door, you will mostly enjoy to choose another red door next time as well, if you have a choice. It's YOUR life... choose as many doors as possible to make it interesting for YOU and to learn as much as possible.

NickGWN stated already, that not all people will accept your choices in your life, but I don't think, that you should care too much about their thoughts. They will have made choices that you didn't like as well. Even in a small town /village, you will find people, who accept your choices and you should respect their choices. You are not boring, when you stay in the middle and this doesn't make you less interesting for others as well. The average person is neither extrovert nor introvert... he/she is on a middle way. You don't have to hold a sign with GAY on it and you certainly don't have to tell everybody, what your sexual interests are and you definitely have to tell people, what you don't like, if you don't wish to. Trust your own feelings and don't try to question yourself too much... too much speculating will create wrinkles and to much wrinkles will make you look old - which is only o.k. when you are over 60 years old. 

I think its normal to be confused at this stage in the process.  Don't beat yourself up over it.  You're actually further ahead of some people in that you've already had a sexual experience and liked it. 

I think your first step has to be figuring yourself out.  Don't worry about what anyone else wants you to be… don't worry about what society expects...  just figure out what YOU want/need.  This may be a soul searching experience... but I think a lot of gay guys try to convince themselves they are something else because they know that is what "normal" society want/expects.  Trying to be someone else is not going to work out well... so I think it's better to figure out who you really are... at your own pace.  (There is no need to hurry.)

After you figure it out for yourself, and accept you for you, then you can figure out who else you want to reveal yourself to.  Unfortunately, not everywhere in the world publicly accepts gays as openly as we would like, so there is a separate problem from accepting your own sexuality and coming out to others in a "public" fashion.

There is another post on a similar topic you might enjoy reading:  https://community.gaytor.rent/index.php?topic=26072.0

• Don't panic

• Give yourself time

• Do what makes you happy

Don't freak out. When I first realised I was gay, I minimised it as much as I could. I explained to myself that I wasn't attracted to abs, I just found them interesting because I wanted to have them myself. Eventually I admitted I was bicurious, bisexual and so on until I conceded I was gay (not to suggest people can't be bicurious or bisexual). Give yourself time to figure yourself out. You're very young and you have time to think about how you find yourself attracted to people. Don't rush yourself into commitments or decisions you're not sure about. Do what makes you happy, i.e. don't try to change yourself because society tells you to; be attracted to the people you're attracted to and don't force yourself to try and be something you're not - it will not end well.

The gay community is extremely diverse and just because you like men doesn't mean anything else about your character. It doesn't mean you're weak, it doesn't mean you're feminine. It doesn't mean anything else about how you should live your life (although learning about safe sex is important at your age; get reading).

You can lead a life being in the closet and discrete, but usually it means you can't talk about your romances or sexual experiences with many others. You can get friends from Grindr too, and they might be able to help you out with that part. When I came out, I was nervous, so I came out to my closest friends, then my wider friends, then my parents. I did this so I always had something to fall back on and I knew before I took the next step the people I trusted were okay with me.

You'll be okay, and you'll look back on this as if it weren't a big deal. Hopefully soon it never will be a big deal for anyone.